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In Loving Memory of My Daughter Tweet
The Birth Day
Most parents are blessed with one angel at a time, but we were blessed with two. On 13th of October 2006, I became the proud mama of two beautiful girls, Aleisha and Aleina.
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Aleisha Seow
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Unfortunately, one of my daughters, Aleisha, was born with cysts in her brain, hence was diagnosed as a special child. Because of her fragile condition she was immediately placed in the NICU.
When I first found out about her condition, I felt an overwhelming rush of emotions and cried for a while, before pulling myself together. My mind flitted to my friend Pauline and her daughter Celine, who had Down Syndrome and heart problems. I told myself that if Pauline could do it and millions of others could do it – I didn’t see any reason why I could not.
The First Episode
On 17th of October, we transferred our precious to HKL due to the mounting bills at Gleaneagles. I was told to check in with her so I would know how to feed Aleisha using ryles tube and so I could bond with her. However I wanted to get better (I had just had a C-section) and told the Dr that I needed one week before I could check in. The Dr agreed.
The next day we received a call from HKL, to come down. I could barely walk so I called my husband, Steven, who was having a meeting with his new GM, and told him to go straight to see Dr See.
Dr See then dropped the second bomb. Aleisha’s blood test had revealed that she was also suffering from Dysplastic Kidney with Renal Failure. Dr See informed us that her left kidney was not functioning at all and her right kidney was also very weak. There was nothing much that they could do, as she was just a baby. They told us that her condition was deteriorating, and they could only offer her conservative management and try to make her feel comfortable.
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Aleisha with daddy
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It was around this time that Steven had started his new job too. As you can imagine, it was an extremely stressful period for him; what with his new job, Aleisha’s condition and having to have visit her everyday after work. I was almost sure that he could not handle it. I kept telling Steven to be patient and to give Aleisha all the love that he possibly could as she did not have much time in this world. I kept telling Steven that I loved him and my love and respect for him was just growing more and more each day.
Aleisha was discharged on the 6th of November after 21 days in NICU. She looked very weak and was on the ryles tube.
The Second Episode
On the 19th of November, Aleisha was so weak, so I rang up the Dr. He told me to take her to the hospital but I told him that I had already scheduled a check-up for the next day and I didn’t think that she was that serious…until I found blood in her mouth. We immediately rushed her to the emergency room. The moment I arrived I showed the ER receptionist Aleisha’s blue book and they told me to go to the critical zone. The blue book is where the Dr writes everything about Aleisha illness – every time she was admitted or goes for her check up. I was told to carry this book everywhere so that in case of emergency, the doctor who was attending to Aleisha would know her history.
We were told Aleisha was having sepsis and to be prepared for the worst. With God’s grace Aleisha tolerated the antibiotic given and managed to survive. I was so proud of my little fighter. She was soon discharged with medication.
The Third Episode
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Aleisha with ryles tube
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On the 20th of December we had a follow up check up with her Neo-Nate team. Everything was okay at the check up, and so we left for home. I was about 1 minute away from pulling up to my driveway, when I received a call to come back as tests had revealed that Aleisha’s calcium level was low. She had to be checked in again. On 22 December, we were told that her kidney was functioning at less than 10% and she was at stage 5 of Chronic Renal Failure. On 30th December, Aleisha was discharged again.
The Fourth Episode
On August 9, Aleisha was admitted back to HKL due to fever, diarrhea and vomiting. She was very weak. The Dr. give her antibiotic and the rest of her medication and she was discharged on August 13.
The Fifth Episode
Aleisha was admitted again on November 25 with fever and cough. In the ward she became hypothermic. With antibiotic Aleisha was discharged three days later. After the hypothermia, she was not able to suck anymore and I had to insert the ryles tube for feeding.
The Final Episode
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For the next couple of months, our princess was okay, when suddenly on Friday, 8th February, she started to have breathing problems. We immediately rushed her to the hospital. As I was standing at the door, Aleisha’s face turned pale and I started screaming!
At 2.15 am, we were transferred from the ER to a Ward with Aleisha on oxygen. After Aleisha had settled down, I asked Steven to go home and get some rest, while I stayed in the hospital with Aleisha.
That night, every time I closed my eyes, my heart would start accelerating and preventing me from sleeping. At around 4.15 am, the medical officer came by and told me that Aleisha was very sick and to be prepared for the worst. She asked “Mummy, are you prepared?” I answered “Whether I am prepared or not is not an issue, if God wants to take her, HE will take her.” .
A few hours later, the specialist on duty came by to see her. After reading her medical history, he asked me if I understood her medical condition. I nodded. He then asked if he should close the curtain. I said no. I was still hoping that Aleisha would get well.
An hour later, a coffee-like discharge started coming out out of her nose and mouth. I panicked and called the specialist. He got the nurse to open the tube so that the discharge would come out from the tube.
At 10.00 am I called Steven and told him to get ready to come to the hospital. At 11.00am the coffee ground discharge came out again from her nose and her mouth and I kept on wiping it. When it did not stop, I called the Doctor. I called Steven again but he did not answer his phone. I kept on wiping Aleisha’s mouth and nose and suddenly I saw the nurse and Dr close the curtain. I went out of Aleisha’s cubicle and waited. I knew something was wrong. I sat there crying and waiting and calling Steven, but again Steven did not answer his phone.
After a few minutes, the Specialist came out and said, “We have tried our best. I am sorry. Time of death was 11.25 am.” My tears were rolling down heavily. I went into her cubicle and saw the nurse was taking out her IV drip. I told the nurse to leave me with Aleisha for few minutes. I held her and kissed her. I told her that I loved her very much and my love for her was unconditional. I read a short prayer for her. I also told the nurse not to wrap Aleisha until Steven arrived. I called Steven again but he did not answer his phone again. I called my father and my father too did not answer. I then called my mother and told her that Aleisha had passed away.
Soon Steven arrived. He saw the curtain was closed and I was crying.He dropped everything that he held and went in. He held Aleisha and read prayers to her. After Steven had his time with Aleisha, I told the nurse to continue their work.
The Funeral
We arrived at my parents’ house about 1.30 PM. Everything was ready. I placed Aleisha’s body on the mattress that my mom had prepared for her. At 2.30 PM I carried Aleisha’s body to the bathroom to bathe her. After that was done, we took her to the mosque. After we finished the prayer, Steven carried Aleisha’s body to the graveyard and the burial was done by 4.00 PM.
Feeling So Lost
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Aleisha with her sisters
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We arrived home late Saturday night. Just as I was about to go to sleep, I spotted Aleisha’s feeding equipment and my tears started to roll down uncontrollably. Steven was standing beside me and didn’t say a word, but just hugged me. I kept on sobbing until I fell asleep.
Till now, when I have nothing to do, my mind automatically flashes back to the memories I had with her especially the last few days. Everywhere I look, I see Aleisha. It’s painful. Very painful. However life has to go on. Life is short, so to all other parents reading my story, please enjoy every moment that you have with your loved ones.
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Dear Sis,
Everytime I read this, I could’nt hold my tears. Sometime my two little girl did asked me about her. I told them that she’s in Heaven now. God love her and want to take her. Lets pray for her. Al-fatihah. Amin.
The article made me cry. May your angel rest in peace
I am so touched by this article. You have all put up a good fight, especially Aleisha.
Mamma, your love is still growing unconditionally each and everyday. She knows that. She is now a happy healthy angel in heaven and waiting for the eternal reunion with all her loved ones.
I got no words to console you but am in tears after reading it. I too lost my first baby at 38 weeks, he was stillborn. May ur angel and mine rest in peace….God loves them a lot and took them home soon…
I feel the pain.. may your angel Aleisha rest in peace and Aleina lives happily….
Dear Noriah,
usually i skip all article in this site but i still don’t know why i read it and i was really speechless as tears rolls down my cheeks ..i salute the sacrifice ,the love and fight that you went through with you beloved daughter aleisha.. May your angel rest in peace.. Amin.. Do take care of your health..
Dear mummy,
You have put up a great fight and so thus your angel. I’m sure she is in good hand now and she knows that you love her so dear much. My heart pain for you and can’t stop my tears rolling down my cheek. I know the pain that i’m feeling not you have to go through 1000 times or more. You have done your best and so does your angel. Love will keep on flowing as she is still close by you.
May you soldier on strongly for the rest of your gals!
aww. that was heartwarming. nicely done, rosh.
Dear Noriah,
Sorry for your lost.I can totally understand how u feel.u’re not alone.I juz experienced an interuterine death at 29 weeks of gestation & this is my 1st baby.We were all very excited & this happened very suddenly.Preparations for the arrival of the baby was nearly done when this happened 1 day.I discovered no movement of the foetus & was told there was no heartbeat.It was heartwrenching.I can totally feel the pain u are going thru’.
Your little gal Aleisha will be an angel watching over u & ur fam…juz remember that & hopefully,it’ll put a smile on your face.
May God grant you the strength and love as you and your family go thru this phase in life. I know what is unconditional love when it comes to our offsprings, parents or siblings. We all went thru this phase one way or other but know that your little angel is in good hands in heaven.
You are so strong! May god always bless your family.
Lots and lots and lots of hugs your way!
To all who have written the comments above,
Thank you. All your comments have touched Noriah’s and my heart. I have just dream t of Aleisha two days ago and when I read all the comments, my tears are in my eyes. All your comments have given Noriah and I strength, smile, and have touched our hearts.
Thank you and it is so sweet for all of you. Wishing you good health and happiness today and days to follow.
Thank you.
Mrs.Seow.. take it easy..
regards
She’s gone to a better place.
Take care of yourself.
I am sorry for your loss.
dear noriah
i a mother of 3 kids when i read your story tears auto flow down i feel so sorry for u take it easy she nw with god n he will take gd care of her u must be strong u still have a princess tat nid u to look after i lose my hubby 4 years ago until nw i will still tink of him god bless u n your family
I myself never knew the depth and capacity of love until I had my two little boys. Today, I truly understand the intensity of grief a parent feels losing a child.
No words can really express the pain (typing this while quietly wiping tears from my eyes and blowing my nose with the only thing I could find, a toilet roll tissue)
My heart goes out to you and your family.
Your little Aleisha was a gorgeous, gorgeous baby!
This story is such an eye opener. We really take people for granted. Thank you for sharing!
A very emotional article.I cant stop tearing like the others. Im sorry for your loss. You guys had fought strong like little Aleisha. Im sure she knows your love for her.Take care.
I am proud of your girl and you for the brave journey…
if i can do it i sure u can too u must be strong with god by your side n giving u strength u can overcome it god bless u
I’m sorry for what happened to you and your girl. I’m a mother of two and I must say you are so brave for what you’ve gone through. May you find peace and please take care of yourselves!
Noriah
You have been very strong… I t’s tough to overcome. May god bless you and family.
Take care.
my sincere prayers to you and your family. God Bless. Take care. Hugs
Dear Noriah,
So sorry to hear about yr loss. I am a mother of 2 girls and i can’t imagine the pain u felt. like everyone else who read yr story, my tears can’t help flowing down. My Allah bless yr family and may Aleisha rest in peace.
i am so so sad after reading tis article. noriah, keep strong ya.
may God bless u & ur family. may Aleisah rest in peace.
I cannot tell you that I understand your pain and your loss because I’m not you. But do know that God is with you and your family. And Aleisha is dancing with God’s angels. She is now safe in God’s arms.
Dear Noriah,
Aleisha feel so great to have a strong mum, she will always remember how you love her all the way for her whole life. and she is happily with God now, all she wish is her mummy- YOU, continue be strong and happy living your life.
be strong! god bless and take good care
Noriah…13th October 2006 also changed my life…I lost my 5 months old pregnancy after waiting 5 years for this baby….and this happened 2km away from your hospital ( i was @ Ampang Puteri )
I know I am not alone, god gave me the test, he chosed me for this test and he has chosen you.
I redha with me not having Marissa here with me…..Let it go dear…she will be waiting for you at Akhirat nanti.
Hi Noriah,
Your love for your little girl is so strong and unconditional that it could even move mountains. I felt the sorrow and pain as I read this article.
All I can say is that God is God and we’re not. We can only see a part of the picture He’s painting. Stay strong and love the ones who are around you now as you love her.
I cried after reading your article. Take care.
Do treasure those around you.
This is a tough journey. But you and your family hold on strong. Whatever happens, God have it all plan out. Have faith, my dear. Hold on.
Sending you, my lil prayer.
Dear Noriah,
I just came across this article today. It touched my heart & as a mother of a boy I can understand the love you have for Aleisha. Be strong for the ones who still besides you. Aleisha is in God’s good hand now.
Take care!
I am truly sorry for your loss. May your angel rest in peace.
Stay strong and take care of yourself.
You and your family have all been strong. I am a father of 2 and I cried while reading this. I can’t imagine how it feels to experience the loss and to go through the struggle you and your family have gone through. But we have to accept what God has decided and surely He is ultimately the best planner.
Your article really touched my heart. I was reading it while my tears keep rolling down and my nose keep running. I must really says that I admire your love, sacrifice and brave journey that you all have went through together with Aleisha. Although I know that parents love for their child is always unconditional but both of you really walk through a tough one so It’s nt really easy. May ur gal rest in peace & May god bless you and your family with strength to con’t to be strong.
My deepest sympathy for you and your family, it’s so hard to finish reading your story while keeping my tears from falling down. May your little angel rest in God’s loving hands… Aamiin…
Noriah,
I could not bring myself to read this until today and tears keep dropping on to my desk.
Think of her your beautiful princess now in a peaceful place away from sufferings will help to kill your sorrows a bit.
God bless you and your family.
Your friend Idy
I admire you and your husband’s courage. What a touching story. :’(
Hi mummy,
Your story made me cry. As a mother, I feel your pain. She is a beautiful girl and i believe she is now in a better place without any pain or suffering. Its going to be hard even years or decades down the road because the bond is always there between u and her. Although she is not here physically, she will always be in your heart and thats most important. Your angel is looking over her mum, dad and her sisters. Continue to be strong because am sure she wants you to live on happily.
Just read the article. Even a miscarriage hurts me bad. I can’t imagine losing a living child right in front of my eyes. If it’s any consolation, your child is in the best place there ever is, heaven. I’m deeply sorry over your loss.
Noriah,
I read the article before in your facebook and today when I read it again, it made me cry. God knows what is the best for her and I hope you live your life to the fullest. Your hubby’s, daughters, families & friends are always be with you.
Take care & may Aleisha soul rest in peace. Amin…
I’m sure Aleisha knows how much you love & sacrifice everything for her. She was a strong fighter. However Allah loves her as much too. May she rest in peace. Amin.
You’re a very brave mother. I can’t imagine going through it myself. May God bless her innocent sould and rest in peace. Take care.
Reading your articles bring tears to my eyes. I can understands how you feel as I have been through myself but what i have been through is nothing compared to yours. May God bless you and do take care
i dun think i need to go thru this to noe how u feel….im sorry for your lost.
im still tearing as i typed this.
thank u for sharing, the warrior hearts tt u guys possesed are priceless!God bless you n ur family…