Who should be your priority, your spouse or your kids?

According to David Cole, family coach and author of “To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First”, many couples today are heading towards a crisis by giving all their attention to their kids. Many parents believe that if they give their kids more attention, their children will grow up to be better individuals.

When helping couples with marital problems, Cole reminds them that they married their spouses not their children. They advise them to evaluate their priorities and start working on their relationship. He reveals that couples often use their kids as a “shield” from their spouses. When something goes wrong within a marriage, parents have the tendency to pour all their energy into parenting so they can avoid dealing with their marital issues. I like what child psychologist Madeline Levine said, “When a marriage is cold, a child’s bed is a warm place to be.”

In short, the best thing that parents can do for their kids is to tend to their marriage. When problems or conflicts arise, don’t run away from them. Instead deal with them right away. When kids see that their parents have a good relationship, they feel secure and will have lesser emotional baggage. So start spending more time with each other. Remember, you have to be intentional about this because nothing will happen if you don’t make plans.

theAsianparent Conversations. Jump in!