1.
“Driving past a cemetery:
Dad: Did you know that all the people who live around here aren’t allowed to be buried in that cemetery?
Me: Really? Why not?
Dad: Because they’re not dead yet.” — Mr_Katanga
2.
“Me: Are you cold?
Daughter: Yes!
Me: You should sit in a corner.
Daughter: Why??
Me: Because it’s 90 degrees.” — Lord_Raiden
3.
“You know you can tell whether an ant is a girl or boy by dropping it in water? If it sinks it’s a girl ant, if it floats it’s boy ant.” — nsears14
4.
Dad: What are you drinking, son?
Son: Soy milk
Dad: Hola milk, soy padre — 8Bitcarrot
5.
A flock of geese passes by overhead, in classic ‘v’ formation.
Dad: Do you know why one side of the ‘v’ is longer than the other?
Son: No, why?
Dad: Because it has more geese. — leastcleverintheroom
It gets even better. Click to the next page for more dad jokes.
6.
Reversing the car
“Ahh, this takes me back.” — ScampAndFries
7.
Holding a step ladder
“This is my step ladder… I never knew my real ladder.” — whosgotyourbelly42
8.
Was talking about drugs at the dinner table (can’t remember what brought up the discussion).
Dad: I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey
Rest of us: ???
Dad: But then I turned myself around. — lil_nicker
9.
At a restaurant
Waitress: “Sorry about your wait”
Dad: “Well I’ve been doing my best to lose it before swimsuit season.”
Every damn time. — Jorogasm
10.
I heard about a Mexican magician who said that on the count of 3 he would disappear. So he counted uno… dos… poof! He vanished without a tres.
— giggidywarlock
READ: These tweets about parenting will have you laughing out loud
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