8 Ways arguing can benefit your marriage

8 Ways arguing can benefit your marriage

Occasional lovers' quarrels are an unavoidable facet of marriage, but did you know they can actually strengthen your marriage?

Married couples can attest to the fact that the occasional spousal fight is unavoidable. There are countless reasons that couples erupt into verbal spats, and as much as you try to pick and choose your battles, a fight is bound to happen every now and then. Whether big or small, couples often fight and have to kiss and make up. In the end, no one really wants to fight. It's just something that comes with the whole "married life" package.

These lovers' quarrels are inexorable, but--strangely enough--sometimes they can be rather beneficial for you and your partner.


How could fighting possibly be beneficial for you and your spouse? These 8 ways that arguing can benefit your marriage will more than answer that question!

1. It keeps things interesting

Maybe you've heard the old idea that couples who fight on occasion tend to stay together longer. Think about it, you may be angry or annoyed at someone you know but you wouldn't express that anger in the form of a verbal spat...would you? No. Because you don't love or care about them. Your spouse is different. If they do something that has you feeling indignant, frustrates you, or hurts you, you're the first to let them know. Sometimes a little fight keeps things interesting on a human level because you're emoting and expressing your love. Albeit, it's not the most constructive way, but if you retroactively think of little fights, you'll find that they wouldn't have ever occurred if you didn't love and care for your partner.

Learn more ways that the occasional marital argument can actually benefit your marriage! Click next to read on!

2. Helps to strengthen communication

As mentioned in entry #1, fighting is far from the most constructive way to emote to your partner. However, if you think about it it's still a form of communication, and for married couples, sometimes it's the only way to get a point across. Surely your marital bouts will always end in a civilized manner, and you'll be able to express yourself more productively when you reach that point. Though, it's fair to say that for couples who are a bit more stubborn than most, a fight can be beneficial in regards to getting your feelings and honest opinions out in the open.

3. Balances the household

Strong personalities can cause friction when exposed to one another. Often, that's the root cause of a household dispute, but it's not fair to say that one partner should get exactly what they want whenever they want it. There needs to be balance in a stable home, and for some couples a healthy, occasional fight can help distribute that balance. In a marriage, you won't always like what your spouse does, and vice versa. If a fight ensues due to a clash of ideals, take the good with the bad and consider the benefits.

young asian couple having relationship difficulties.


4. Encourages healthy compromises

At the end of the day, a healthy spousal fight will be settled in a civilized fashion. In other words, each partner will compromise and attempt to see eye to eye with each another. No matter the issue, big or small, a healthy compromise can go a long way in fortifying a relationship.


5. Brings you closer together

It's always darkest before dawn, right? Sometimes a fight can make you realize the error of your ways, or help you empathize with your partner. An occasional fight will help you to be more appreciative of the things you may be taking for granted on a daily basis. It may seem like you're on different wavelengths when you're in the act of fighting, but in the end a fight can bridge the gap and bring you closer together than ever.


Learn more ways that the occasional marital argument can actually benefit your marriage! Click next to read on!

6. Offers new perspective

Perspective is everything, and sometimes a fight is the only way to truly understand someone else's perspective. No matter how close you may be to your partner, there needs to be a bit of diversity between the two of you. And though that diversity is a necessity, a bigger necessity is having insight on why your spouse operates that way. it may not be pretty but sometimes the only way to cultivate that perspective and understanding is by putting em' up for verbal altercation.


7. Supports a sense of individuality

As stated in our last entry, a sense of diversity has to exist between partners. If you're too similar, you have nothing new to offer each another, after all. In any case, a fight can help support that sense of individuality and diversity in a marriage. A husband and wife have vastly different needs and wants, and in marriage and parenting, those needs and wants can sometimes be overlooked. Fighting can serve as an effective way to remind each other that you still have those needs and wants. It's a way to maintain your sense of self, and let your partner know that they need to respect your individuality as well.


8. Helps teach kids to stand their ground

In the same sense that marital fights can help support your sense of individuality by showing others that you have needs and wants that can't be overlooked, they can also help to teach your kids the invaluable lesson of standing up for themselves. perhaps you've heard of "doormat syndrome". If you haven't its the idea that bending over backwards to accommodate others all the time can diminish your sense of self and self worth. The occasional fight can help teach your kids that they're capable of standing up for what they believe in. We're by no means suggesting that you should frequently fight in front of your kids and expect positive results, because quite the opposite will occur. If you want to teach this important lesson to your kids, you'll need to pick and choose your battles wisely, and int he end, they'll understand that their needs and wants matter just as much as anyone else's.


This article was based on a post originally published on Scary Mommy

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