Has sex become a distant but pleasant memory?
Do you remember what your sex life was like before your little one was born? Think hard and you are sure to dig up some amazing memories! And as a result of all those hot moments turned amazing memories, you now have a tiny human being (or two) sharing the bed with you.
When was the last time you reached over to your husband for a little fun in bed, but instead of his muscular arm (or something else), you encountered your little one’s chubby little leg or diaper-clad bottom?
Don’t get us wrong – we think co-sleeping is awesome, it has been scientifically-proven that it allows your little one to sleep more peacefully, that it helps stabilize their body temperature and regularizes their heart rhythm. It is also beneficial to their long-term emotional health.
But let’s face it. Having a child (or two) in bed when you want to have sex can be off-putting to say the least.
Co-sleeping and sex… is it possible?
Yes it is! Where there’s a will, there’s a way. With that being said, here are five great tips on how to “get it on” even when co-sleeping with your little one. This information is brought to you by some very experienced co-sleeping moms and dads… You’re welcome!
Click “Continue reading” for tips on how to have fun in bed when co-sleeping.
Co-sleeping and sex: You don’t always have to have sex in the bedroom.
1. Take it out of the bedroom
There’s no hard and fast (excuse the pun) rule that you must do the deed on your bed. Get adventurous and take it out of the bedroom.
The kitchen has handy counters, the living room has inviting couches, and of course, there’s always the floor. And how could we forget the bathroom? You can have some of the best “O-some” action ever in the shower or in the bathtub.
For an added dimension of thrill-seeking, do it in your car if you have one. Just make sure the neighbours don’t see you! Oh, and you may want to take your baby monitor with you so you can keep an eye on your kid, too.
2. It’s all about the timing
With babies, having timed sex is hard because they don’t really have a proper sleep routine. But as your child grows older and you still find him sandwiched between you in bed, you’re going to have to get shrewd with their sleep-time.
It’s pretty simple. Note down the time your child wakes up and plan your sexy-time accordingly. For example. your child wakes up every night at 11pm for a feed or a cuddle, have sex before that!
If you want to get really scientific about it, take note of when your child is in deep sleep — usually around 70 to 90 minutes after first falling asleep — and time your sexy date then!
3. Schedule your sex
This is one for all you pedants — schedule when you have sex the same way you schedule your childs’ playdates.
So, put on your planning hat and and call in reinforcement, i.e. grandparents, friends, neighbors, the mini-market auntie (kidding!). Once they are able to whisk the kids away for an hour or two, do not waste a moment more than you have to and spring into action.
Points to remember: do not use this time to (a) catch up on your sleep, (b) watch your favorite TV show, (c) cook, (d) clean the house, (e) call your grandmother.
Curious to find out more? Head to the next page!
Fret not parents – sex while co-sleeping IS possible!
4. In-room action
Okay, so sometimes you just don’t want to leave your little interruptors-of-sex in your bedroom and on your bed by themselves, especially when they’re really young. So, according to the wise moms who helped out with these tips, you may improvise in the following ways:
- Have sex standing up in a dark corner — Upright sex is good fun and if you can somehow squeeze in a few squats while you’re at it, you have the added bonus of a work-out.
- Use the cot — Put that expensive cot your child never uses to some good use by placing your child inside it for however long it takes you to do the deed. If it’s a really sturdy cot, perhaps you and hubby dearest could use it if you’re worried about waking up your child during the transfer from bed to cot. Desperate times, dear parents, desperate times.
- “Under(the)cover” action — cover your child with a blanket (not his head please). Cover yourselves with another, bigger blanket and we hope you can figure out what to do next.
- Bed-corner action — Sex doesn’t always have to be penetrative… oral sex can be as, or even more pleasurable. Here’s a clever tip given to us by a clever mum. Either you or your hubby sit at the end of the bed with your back towards your child (you can build a pillow fortress between you if you must — see last point) while the other kneels on the floor and pleasures you. Switch positions. Repeat.
- Throw a spare mattress on the floor — No explanation needed!
- Build a pillow wall — It’s best to have your bed pushed against the wall for your child’s safety. Then just place your sleeping child at the wall-end of the bed, construct a fortress of pillows between you and your offspring, and spring into action!
When executing the last two points, make sure you have a good enough explanation ready should your child wake up and ask you what you’re doing.
Here are two “excuses” you could use: “Mommy and daddy are wrestling”, and “Mommy and Daddy are playing.” The mommy who used the first excuse did mention that her kid had told them off for “playing rough”!
Go on and plan a hot night away from the kids… you deserve it!
5. Take it out of the house
No, we’re not asking you to get naughty in your neighbor’s garden, instead, put on your planning hat again and call in your reinforcements once more — ideally grandparents or a reliable baby-sitter.
The idea is for you to plan an awesome escapade with the love of your life for one whole night just because you deserve it. Plan it out carefully:
- Lock in a date that your reliable reinforcement person is available
- Book your hotel room
- Buy yourself some saucy lingerie
- In the lead-up to your one-night escapade, send each other sexy text messages, flirt with each other (under-the-table action, anyone?) and build up the mood in general
- On the much-awaited day, tire your kids out with playdates/ swimming/ a trip to the playground or any other fun activities that will (a) ensure they fall asleep fast, and (b) eliminate any trace of mommy-guilt
- Have your bags packed and ready and scoot the moment your reinforcement arrives
Good luck all you co-sleeping moms and dads. We hope this article helps you to keep that all-important flame burning!
Got any co-sleeping and sex tips of your own to share? Share away by leaving a comment below.
Article originally published on: theAsianparent
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