I will confess right at the start – I am an ‘okay’ parent, I am not one of those highly competitive parents you see at school events, parent-teacher meets, at the hobby classes and in your society compound.
I am just a regular mother, who spends the day working and looking after her kids, and tries to take life as it comes.
I have yet to look at life like a never-ending competition. I have yet to look at my kids as mere marks or grades on the report card. And the fact that I have yet not started understanding any of this is something that makes me smile.
I grew up in a simple middle-class family and we had very limited means, which meant that we were always on a very tight budget. But that did not stop my parents from teaching me values that I am proud to grow up with, and that I have instilled in my kids.
I am too relaxed….
My growing up years were filled with lots of happy moments, lots of time spent together, doing simple things that helped us connect more as a family. In fact, I now realize that the fact that my parents never pressured me or my brother to score the highest in class and did not enrol us in some or the other hobby class to keep us occupied every day of the week kind of made us want to study and excel more.
It was more a means of proving to ourselves what we were or were not capable of, of trying to see how much we could strive for and win.
As a mom to two kids today, I come across as too relaxed to a lot of my parent friends. Yes, many times I forget to help my kids complete their school assignments, I forget to set their uniform ready for the next day, I forget to remind them of something, I misplace documents, I forget to check the school mail, I let them watch a little extra TV sometimes, I let them eat junk food sometimes, I let them skip a bath sometimes (you are judging me, right?) and I even let them go to bed without brushing their teeth sometimes (horrific, am I?).
But, I never forget these things…
Yes, I do forget a lot of these a lot many times. But there are a lot of things I do not forget, that are the core values of what me and my kids do together.
1. Taking it easy: This is one of the first things I remember to do, and teach my kids too. Honestly, it is not worth it to get worked up by anything so much that it affects your health. That it makes you depressed or makes you doubt your self-worth. Life goes on, and the next day always has scope.
2. Reading: I have always loved reading, as have my grandparents and my mother, and now my kids too! It is one very important activity that binds me and my kids together, and makes us create many wonderful memories as we go book shopping and reading.
3. Thank you and sorry: These two words can never run out of fashion. Appreciating someone’s efforts and help and telling them you are thankful for what they did, and accepting your own mistakes to others and to yourself are important values in life.
4. Communication: There can never be enough communication with someone you love, and this is especially true of me and my kids. We always talk about what we feel and what we want to do and so on.
And, I tell them how proud I am of them, how they can achieve what they want as long as they believe in themselves. They will grow up soon, and enter their teens, and not want to talk as much maybe, but I will still try.
READ: To the overwhelmed new mom, from a mother of two: I hear you, I understand
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