An open letter to the struggling solo parent

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"There will be better days but what's important, really, is knowing that you have your own back."

Dear solo parent,

I won't patronize you; calling you a hero seems redundant. Because this goes without saying. It takes patience, sacrifice, and a ton of resilience to raise kids on your own.

Staying strong is a choice you need to make daily when life keeps trying to change your mind.

Daunting as it is to have to navigate the many gray areas of parenting alone, know that you are never really alone.

There are people in your life just waiting for you to reach out to them. You may have been burned a lot in the past but staying open and hopeful beats living repressed and guard. Believe me; people can surprise you.

I know, most of the time, there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything done but don't feel guilty when you need to take a break.

Take care of yourself. Because this is the best way you can care for your kids.

Guard your heart for it is easy for loneliness to be your sole motivation for seeking a new partner. Remember that your kids want to see you happy, too. This doesn't always mean having a partner. Often, it means accepting responsibility for your own joy.

I know the rough patches seem far too numerous and, at times, they seem impossible to tread but you have to keep on going.

There will be better days.

What's important, really, is always having your own back, rooting for yourself.

It's easy to fall into self-pity but what counts is how you can yank yourself out of this state and still have the energy to be open to life and love.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You are doing great.

Love,

Your Friend

READ: An open letter to the sleep-deprived new parent

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Written by

Bianchi Mendoza