If you have a confident wife with great self-esteem who takes pride in what she does and what she is, it might just be because of her father.
Do you ever find yourself wondering what you did (right) to deserve such a wonderful woman in your life? Go thank her father for that!
Studies have shown that a father plays a huge role in shaping the personality of his daughter. Women who are assertive, self-confident and strong-willed tend to do well in life, and more often than not, these women would have had an involved dad early on in their lives.
It goes both ways, though
If you are a dad to a wonderful daughter, you have it in your power to shape not only her personality but also influence how satisfied she is going to be when she grows up and decides to get married. A study conducted in the Middle East, explains the influence a father can have on the marital satisfaction of his daughter. While this is a small study, the results conclude that an early involvement of the father, just by being there, improves how the daughter would look at her marriage.
There are a few fathers though, who cannot be there for the children. Studies have shown that these girls may have some rough patches in life, including a low self-esteem, difficulties in academics and a lack of interest in STEM subjects, particularly Mathematics.
Using this power for good
Like uncle Ben said in Spider-man (2002), “with great power, comes great responsibility”, you have an obligation to do the right thing for your daughter. It may not be easy, especially if you are separated, or working two jobs just to make the ends meet. However, it would make a lot of difference in your daughter’s life if you become more involved in her life. I am not going to tell you how to be a good father- you already know it. What I am going to tell you is 5 situations where your daughter could use your help.
1. Academics, especially subjects involving logic and reasoning
For some weird reason, as stated in this doctoral thesis, women are not that interested in Mathematics, unless their fathers are, in some way, involved in the learning process. I do not fully agree with the observation, but for the sake of your daughter, let us assume it to be true.
You can help your daughter with her Mathematics studies. It may sound boring, but you can make it interesting by using word problems and riddles. Riddles are one of the best ways to get your daughter and for that matter your son, interested in problem-solving and deductive reasoning. Here is one for you-
“If, a hen and a half, lays an egg and a half, in a day and a half, how many eggs would 6 hen lay in 7 days?”
I will answer it at the end of the article.
2. DIY stuff
My wife can change a fuse and knows what is an Allen key. Ideally, this should be a norm, however, it is not so. She knows it because her father always tinkered with stuff and involved her while she was growing up. This way, between the two of us, we end up fixing almost everything at home.
This is an important life skill, however, it has been ignored for long. Let us establish here that there are no gender specific roles. So teaching your daughter how to wield a screwdriver would do her much good. If they are going to drive some day, they need to know what happens below the hood of the car. Otherwise, they could get pranked like these girls over here. P.S. there is no such thing as “blinker fluid”.
3. Riding a bicycle
If there is one memory cherished by dads, it would be about the day their daughter rode her bicycle independently. As I mentioned, it is not something only a dad can do, but if you are a dad, don’t forget to teach your daughter how to ride a bicycle. Trust me, it feels like a personal achievement when she understands how to balance one!
Later on, you can teach her how to drive. It is again one of the important life skills that a person could learn.
4. Teach her how to swim
My dad cannot swim. But that did not stop him from entering the swimming pool when I was young. He ensured that I could swim well. Later on, I had a swimming coach who taught me the tricks of the trade. However, I still remember the time my dad taught me to float on water.
If you can, take your child out for a swim. Teach her how to trust her body, her instincts when it comes to swimming. Hire a coach, but attend the lessons if you can. Children tend to learn faster and better when the parents are there to appreciate it all!
5. Teach her to how to read people
This is a sense most of the people develop only after getting burnt a few times. As a dad of a daughter, you develop an ability to literally smell danger from miles apart. You can look into someone’s eyes and sense if they mean her harm. Help her develop that instinct.
But beyond that, be an example of what she should look for in a man, lest she settles for someone not worthy of her. There are many men who crush the self-confidence of women just so that they would continue to be with them. Show her that masculinity is not about displaying strength but it is about displaying character.
Dads, don’t lose out on the opportunity to have a meaningful impact on your daughter’s life later on in your life.
By the way, 6 hen would lay 28 eggs in 7 days.
- Early father–daughter relationship and demographic determinants of spousal marital satisfaction
Ahmad Alsheikh Ali and Fawzi Shaker Daoud
- Father absence and its effect on daughters. Mancini Lisa.
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