Ever experience your baby suddenly hitting you, their playmates, or even siblings? It can become stressful for you as a parent to handle and correct this behavior especially if you don’t know the underlying reason for this.
Is it normal? Can it be corrected? The answers to your questions are here.
What can you read in this article?
- Why is baby hitting me in the face
- What to do when your child hits you
- How to stop a child from hitting a parent
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Why do babies hit you
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Why is baby hitting me in the face? There are many reasons why toddlers hit their parents, playmates, siblings, or other people around them. Here are a few reasons highlighted by Healthline.
1. They are testing themselves
Hitting or yelling in a high-pitched tone has a common theme: to test the limits of what is acceptable behavior.
Your baby is probably considering to himself, “What will happen if I do it?”
When they find that their brother cries when he is hit with a stick or that beating on a drum isn’t the same as harming their mother, it’s all part of their learning process.
2. They are oblivious to the fact that it is harmful
It’s also true that toddlers use force without being prodded, confirming the argument that they’re simply curious and lack the moral compass or knowledge to understand that they can, but should not, damage others.
Scientists looked into this phenomenon in 11- to 24-month-old toddlers and discovered that the vast majority of the time, the children were not distressed while hitting others.
3. They don’t know how to deal with their emotions
Another reason toddlers beat themselves and others is that it is a coping mechanism for their “extreme” emotions.
Toddlers are frustrated, but unlike adults who can calmly convey their feelings to a partner or trusted friend, they lack the language capacity and self-control to stop, analyze how they are feeling, and react in a socially acceptable, suitable, or useful manner.
Toddlers may have a strong desire for something, be enraged, or believe they have been wronged in some way.
4. They haven’t mastered the art of self-control
You’ll notice that a child’s impulse control is essentially non-existent while dealing with them. They hit — without hesitation – to express their frustrations, happiness, and boredom.
The good news is that research shows that between the ages of 3 and 9, people begin to show signs of progress in this area.
What to do when your child hits you
Photo by ShotPot from Pexels
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So, what do you do if your child hits you? When you’re reacting to bodily pain, whatever action you take with your child will have negative consequences for both of you. You’ll very definitely exacerbate and maintain a cycle of physical violence.
Remember that aggressiveness is a result of fear. So, even if you have no idea what your child is afraid of, or if the hostility appears out of nowhere, your child is expressing his fear to you. If you respond aggressively, you will raise the anxiety and the likelihood of further hitting.
According to Psychology Today, when we teach children to control their intense emotions, we:
1. Accept all of your emotions.
“I’ve heard you’re enraged.”
2. Set strict, definite boundaries for your behavior.
“There will be no hitting. Hitting hurts.”
3. Inform them about what they CAN DO with their emotions.
“You can stamp your foot to show me how upset you are, or you can tell me in words.”
4. Regulate our own emotions in order to act respectfully.
Fortunately, hitting is not merely a “period” that parents must cope with; there are tangible steps you can take to avoid, manage, and divert hitting toddlers.
While each of the solutions listed below may not be appropriate for every child, you, as the parent, can decide which is best for you.
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Preventing a hit before it happens
Keep an eye on your child’s actions in the moments leading up to the hit. What are the most common reasons for self-inflicted or other-inflicted injuries?
Some children, for example, emit enraged noises akin to a dog snarling, while others cry out in frustration. You may notice your toddler approaching another child, which is a sign that striking is about to become an issue.
If you can identify these triggers and behaviors, you’re more likely to be able to stop them before they happen, either by talking them through other options or physically stopping them from acting.
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Assist with emotional issues
Consider teaching age-appropriately other options for emotional expressions, such as what various feeling words suggest if hitting appears to be the outcome of mismanaging emotion.
While the way you communicate discontent to a 5-year-old may differ from the way you explain it to a 2-year-old, both can learn to express anger, irritation, stress, and other related feelings through speech.
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Redirect them to a more suitable conduct
This may assist them in forgetting the need to strike anything. You can grip the hand they were hitting and show gentle contact with 1- to 2-year-olds, for example.
If they persist, distracting them with a different activity may be useful in shifting their focus away from the unpleasant behavior. However, it’s crucial to make sure that hitting doesn’t get more attention than not hitting.
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Discuss alternatives
Your child may not realize there are other methods to deal with frustration, jealousy, anger, and other emotions until you explicitly educate and model them.
What other options do they have if a friend steals a toy they really want? Make sure you’re modeling good habits like speaking up, stepping away, and telling an adult about difficulties.
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Take your baby out of the scenario
Removing a kid from a situation quietly is one of the best answers to a hitting problem. Be aware that you may need to repeat the method in order for a child to grasp that there will be a clear consequence if they hit, such as being unable to play with others for a short amount of time.
Once you’ve gone away from the situation, you might want to talk about it, rethink it, and relax.
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Physically restrain them.
Your first instinct may be to physically restrain your child if he or she tries to hit others. If you believe your child is out of control or that being physically restrained calms them down, this may be an option for you.
Physical restriction should feel to your child like a warm, strong hug, stopping her from hurting herself or others.
You should also speak quietly to them, explaining that you are holding them because you cannot allow them to harm others. Once the situation has passed, you can redirect them to different behaviors.
How to stop a child from hitting a parent
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Aside from those tips, there also things that you should NOT do when trying to stop your baby from hitting you. Here are more tips on how to stop a child from hitting a parent:
1. DO NOT spank or hit your child
A study published in 2017 discovered a link between spanking and behavioral issues. Teachers stated that children who had been spanked by their parents at age 5 had significantly more behavior concerns than children who had never been spanked, such as arguing, fighting, showing anger, acting impulsively, and disrupting existing activities.
Furthermore, if you’re trying to teach your child to avoid striking by modeling positive behavior, hitting yourself may confuse them. Power struggles involving the use of force should be avoided at all costs.
2. DO NOT base your reaction on the reactions of other parents
In parent circles, there is a constant sense of mom guilt, mom-shaming, and peer pressure when it comes to behavioral choices. It’s not a good idea to let your emotions guide your judgments about how to help your child with their hitting tendencies.
If you feel yourself modifying your reaction depending on your environment or peers, take a step back and re-evaluate your parenting ideals through self-reflection or dialogue with your partner.
3. DO NOT scream or become enraged
Toddlers respond better to calm, firm responses rather than yelling, sobbing, or acting out in wrath.
Even if the scenario is frustrating, taking a moment to manage your emotions before educating your toddler will help them see you as an authoritative adult who is in charge of their body, voice, words, and expressions.
When your kid slaps you or someone else, it’s natural to feel upset and out of control. Children are sometimes simply watching how others react to their activities, while others are frustrated, fatigued, or unwilling to share their toys. Approach your toddler’s behavior calmly and choose the best course of action. After all, you as a parent know the best way to handle them.