Whether you're about to be a first-time dad or if you're a veteran father, these birth partner tips will come in handy in the delivery room.
Gone are the days when the men were expected to wait outside the delivery room, pacing back and forth until someone emerged with their baby. Plenty of men now join their partners in the delivery room to support and encourage her.
If your partner asks you to be there, it's because she needs you. Remember that your role is important because you will be the only one in the room with a personal history with her. You’ll be the one who would best interpret her cues and relay her desires to the others. With that in mind, here are some things to keep in mind.
What does it take to be the best partner at birth?
Birth partners, especially daddies, can help pregnant mommies feel supported during their labor and make the experience positive. Yet this exciting moment and role can be very daunting.
There are numerous ways in giving support as a partner to a mom-to-be during their labor and giving birth. One example is to begin by talking about their expectations towards you in advance.
You can ask your wife how she wants you to do the support game. This will help you both in preparing ahead of the birth and in gaining confidence as a partner.
Below are the short-listed tips on becoming the best partner and support person your wife would take as a company during her labor.
10 tips on becoming the best partner in birth delivery
1. Do your research.
You don’t want to be skimming through a birth manual right when your partner is in labor, so read up beforehand. Go to birthing classes with your partner and learn as much as you can about the process of labor and birth.
2. Cover all bases.
Your partner needs to focus on labor and birth, and the more you can take off her mind, the better. That means making sure the car is full of gas; knowing the fastest way to your birthing center; ensuring that you have her labor bag and maternity notes; preparing enough food and drink, and so forth.
3. Stay calm.
Labor and childbirth is can take their toll on a woman, and though you may be feeling some stress as well, you must do everything you can to keep your nerves at bay.
Yes, you will see your partner in incredible amounts of pain. She will probably yell at you. There might be some complications. The best way to be supportive is to reassure your partner with your cool composure. You’ve got this.
4. Help creates a tranquil environment.
You can do this by dimming the lights, playing relaxing music, and keeping your voice low and soothing. She will need to focus, so try to keep the distractions at bay.
Be as attentive as you can without being overbearing. Does she need water? Is she comfortable? Remember that she needs to stay upright, so let her lean on you for support.
5. Take care of yourself.
It’s easy to forget to eat or drink when your partner is in labor, but remember that you can’t take care of your partner if you yourself are feeling unwell. Remember to wear comfortable clothing and shoes, and to eat and stay hydrated. Take short breaks when you need them.
6. Encourage and respect her.
Hold her hand and keep telling her how well she is doing, softly—the only one who should be yelling in the delivery room is the woman in labor.
Your loving words will bolster her spirits and strengthen her. If complications arise, explain to her clearly and calmly what the staff has recommended and ask for her consent.
7. Provide emotional support to her.
As the mom-to-be is in her labor and contraction is getting harder, you shall be her rock. You need to comfort and reassure her. Simple gestures like holding or squeezing her hand while giving positive words of encouragement will surely help her.
8. Listen to her.
Try to always listen to what she says and what she needs on that labor day. It is easier said than done, however, you always need to be attentive and intuitive. You need to listen to what she needs and when to do it.
Allow her to express herself while she is in pain. Also, be aware that her needs may change over time as her delivery progresses.
At times, your wife may shift from wanting practical support or emotional support. It may also be possible that she wants to be left alone to focus more, but stay there whenever she has to call you.
9. Be flexible.
It is always a requirement to be flexible at times like this. No labors are similar in terms of the situation, although you can always prepare. You need to adapt to what is working or not during your wife's labor.
It is also possible that everything will happen according to the plan but sometimes there may be alterations. If this happens, tell your mom-to-be what is happening and continue to reassure her. This will help you both to be in control of the situation.
10. Don't let her give birth without a support person.
Any mom-to-be's and wives do not want to be left behind. Being the immediate person your wife would expect to be there, do not let her give birth without anyone supporting her.
In this situation, if it is really needed, you need to call another support person like your older children, relatives, or closest friend.
You do not need to perfectly do these tips but you are encouraged to. As the immediate support person and soon-to-be dad, make it the best and living moment your wife can have during her labor.
Birth partner hospital bag: What to pack inside a labor or hospital bag?
When packing your wife's hospital bag, there are a lot of lists for soon-to-be moms. But how about yours as her support person? You also need a hospital bag to perform your role as her partner.
Listed below are the things you want to include in your hospital bag checklist as a partner during your wife's birth:
- Snacks
- Toiletries
- Medications
- Small bills and change
- Phones and other electronics
- Clothing
- Reusable bottles and beverages
- pillow and blanket
- Music
- massage oil
- a surprise push present for your wife (after giving birth)
Do you need a support partner from a 'doula'?
A doula provides professional labor assistance which includes physical and emotional support to you and your partner during your pregnancy, giving birth, and the postpartum period.
Your doula might offer the following support:
- attending you some physical comfort through techniques such as touch and massage and assistance with breathing
- emotional reassurance and support, comfort, and encouragement
- information about what to expect during labor and the postpartum phase, including the explanations of every procedure
- Helps in lobbying procedures like communicating with the hospital staff
- guidance and support for loved ones who want to give emotional support
- assistance with breast-feeding
These are some of the duties and roles a doula must attend to as your labor assistant. So it is not a question if you need a doula or not.
Birth, as a first-timer mom-to-be, is a struggling yet exciting moment in your life, and you should get a partner to get past it. The key for soon-to-be daddies of preggy wives is to be on their side at all times and to provide the support they need.
Additional information by Nathanielle Torre
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