“Horsy desiree (sing it with the tune of zombie), kabayo, da-mole-lag, molecules, black mole, tagalog palaka – butete alam mo, payat, pangit, pobre, kawatan, valedictorian ka, ngano di man ka kabalo ana?”
These were the words that my bully classmates would call me, since I was in elementary up until high school. Because of being poor, I was even accused of stealing. Luckily, the real culprit was caught. Turns out he doesn’t need money, is just that he have some issues.
As per Sharon Cuneta, “high school life ay walang kasing saya.” But sadly not for me. Though I’m glad to have friends for keeps back in highschool. Apart from that all of my memories back in high school or elementary isn’t happy as what Sharon Cuneta defines.
I thought being bullied was the worst but it wasn’t, until I got raped. A few didn’t believe what happened to me, some people laugh and told me,
“Kapangit nimo naa pay manguan sa imuha.” (
As if rape was a joke.
All of those words are still haunting me sometimes, making me question myself. What if people will laugh at me again? What if people would talk behind my back and bully me again?
Those words sometimes eat up all the confidence I have mustered over the years. Though I have gained confidence a little bit, specially when I met Enteng, my husband and have my dreamed family with him. He was like my knight in shining armour – loving me unconditionally, accepting all of my flaws, my insecurities and loving the broken ME.
His and our children’s love is what keeps me going. Despite doubting myself and feeling so ugly, he would often say, ”
“Ka gwapa sakong misis uy or hawda gyud sakong misis uy,”
Even when I changed my view of beauty, I sometimes feel insecure. After all, I’m just a woman who was called the ugliest in their class or on her group during high school
I have forgiven everyone already, kasi siguro bata pa naman kami noon. I just hope that now, most of us were parents, we can teach our children not to look at someone’s flaws – physically or kahit na sa little knowledge na alam nila.
We should guide and teach our children to appreciate the good side of everyone and in everything. na hindi maganda kung sa panlabas lang na kagandahan tayo tumitingin.
How did I overcome them?
I don’t know. Maybe after all the constant crying, and hiding, I got used to it. but what i have learned from that experience:
- If you won’t accept and love yourself first, you’ll get affected every time. Do not be afraid. Kung wala kang naapakang tao. You go girl.
- Be with the right people. If you are not happy with the people around you, obviously they are not your tribe. Be with the people who inspire you. Something that I am very happy since I have my mommy friends at #davaomommycontentcreators.
- It’s okay to get hurt, to cry and hide. But not always. You have to stand up and move forward.
- Lift all your pain to God. trust His will and know that there’s a purpose for everything.
Happy Women’s Month!
#mamadisay #twinmom #momoftwins #momof5 #bloggermom #davaomommyblogger #bloggerph #mommyblogger #mommybloggerph #influencerph #mommyinfluencer
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