Children inherently crave for attention and praise and generally positive interaction with authority figures.
According to Candace Johnson’s Family Share article, “by complimenting the child’s action and effort, rather than a broad compliment of the child themselves, can significantly motivate your child to be better and feel better.”
Here are the nine compliments Candace says you should tell your children:
1. I believe in you
Not only do they need to know whether or not they’re succeeding, they also need to know that you have their backs.
“Your child needs to know that whether they are succeeding at the moment, or not, that you have not given up on their ability to succeed.”
2. That choice makes me proud
“Some choices won’t make you proud, but applauding the good choices will encourage your children to continue making wise decisions in order to gain your praise.”
3. I appreciate your ability to ___
Children need to know they are capable of doing something good; if you reinforce the good attributes they’re capable of, they are more likely to believe it themselves and act on it.
“For example, if you say ‘I appreciate your ability to work hard.’ Your child will strive to work hard in the future knowing that effort is acknowledged.”
4. I’m thankful you’re in our family
“Children have a need to belong. They are trying to fit in at school, with friends or in youth groups. Remind them often they are crucial to your life and that you are grateful for them.”
5. I can trust you to be honest with me
“Complimenting your child’s character and integrity will help them strive for greatness. Remind your child that if they are honest you can trust them.”
6. You made a good choice”
“Affirming your child’s decision can help their self-confidence. Teach your child that with good decisions come praise, and bad decisions come consequences.”
7. I know you did your best”
“When your child has given a good effort, it is critical to offer praise for the attempt. Encourage positive behavior so when failures come they will be reminded they can always try again to do their best.”
8. I love you”
“While this may not sound like a compliment it is the most important you can give,” Candace said. “Your child’s potential is endless if they know they are loved. Your child will trust you more if you always show your love for them.”
Not only that, saying ‘I love you’ releases endorphins, the hormone responsible for bringing joy. Saying it also helps children to learn and succeed.
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