Raising a newborn brings joy and excitement, especially within Filipino families where loved ones show their affection through hugs, kisses, and gentle cuddles. However, as parents, setting boundaries to protect your baby’s health and comfort is essential, especially during the early months. For Filipino parents, the challenge often lies in how to communicate a “do not kiss baby” rule with family members and in-laws who might be unfamiliar with modern health concerns around this practice.
Here are some gentle and effective ways to set this boundary while maintaining harmonious family relationships.
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Why “Do Not Kiss Baby” is Important
Before addressing how to communicate the rule, it’s helpful to understand why many parents adopt a “do not kiss baby” policy. Babies have sensitive skin, delicate immune systems, and are particularly vulnerable to infections. Even a common cold sore virus or other mild illnesses can affect a newborn more severely than an adult. Plus, physical boundaries help babies feel secure and allow parents to gradually introduce them to family and friends on their terms.
1. Start with a friendly explanation about your ‘do not kiss baby’ rule
When family and in-laws are excited to meet the new family member, use this as a moment to explain your concerns kindly. For instance, saying, “The doctor advised us to avoid close contact, like kisses, to protect the baby’s immune system,” can help family members understand that this isn’t just a personal decision but a medically advised precaution. This explanation can also make them more willing to respect your “do not kiss baby” rule since it emphasizes health.
2. Use pediatric advice as support
In Filipino culture, advice from professionals, especially doctors, is often respected. When setting boundaries, mentioning that your pediatrician recommended avoiding kisses can add a layer of authority to your request. You might say, “We love that you’re excited to hold and cuddle him, but our doctor said it’s best to avoid kisses to protect the baby’s health for now.”
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3. Offer alternatives to show affection
Another effective approach is to suggest ways family members can show their love without needing to kiss the baby. For example, encourage gentle pats on the back, holding hands, or simply spending quality time watching and interacting. By providing options, family members can still feel connected without compromising your “do not kiss baby” boundary. You could say, “Baby loves gentle pats on the back, and we’d love for you to play with them that way.”
4. Be open about your worries
Sometimes, a heartfelt explanation works best. Filipino families value open communication, so being transparent about your worries can be meaningful. A simple, “We know it might seem overly cautious, but we’re just trying to be careful since newborns can get sick easily,” shows vulnerability and sincerity, which family members may respect. This approach is gentle and non-confrontational and can lead to understanding rather than resistance.
5. Use humor to lighten the message of your ‘do not kiss baby’ rule
Filipinos are known for finding humor in situations, even when discussing boundaries. Consider a lighthearted approach, saying something like, “Mommy and Daddy are acting like bodyguards for now – no kisses allowed yet!” Adding humor can make the “do not kiss baby” request feel less strict, and family members might appreciate your approach while still respecting the rule.
6. Share resources on baby health
If family members or in-laws are unfamiliar with modern health precautions, sharing articles or resources can help. You might send a link to a health website that discusses the risks of kissing babies and say, “We read about this, and it really helped us understand why it’s so important to avoid close contact with the baby.” This can be an educational and non-confrontational way to support your rule.
7. Emphasize that the ‘do not kiss baby’ rule is temporary
Reassuring family members that this restriction won’t last forever can help soften the boundary. Let them know that once your baby’s immune system develops, they’ll have more opportunities for closer interactions. For example, you could say, “We know it’s hard to resist those cuteness, but once the baby’s older, there’ll be plenty of kisses to give!”
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8. Establish a firm, consistent rule
Consistency is key when setting boundaries, especially if you have a large family with multiple people wanting to visit and interact with your newborn. If one person is allowed to kiss the baby, others may feel it’s okay to do the same. Politely remind everyone of the “do not kiss baby” rule and express your gratitude when they respect it. A simple, “Thank you for helping us keep the baby safe!” reinforces positive behavior without sounding strict.
9. Be kind but assertive if needed
In some cases, gentle reminders may need to be more assertive. If a family member repeatedly ignores the “do not kiss baby” rule, politely but firmly reiterate the boundary. A statement like, “I appreciate how much you love the baby, but please remember we’re not allowing kisses,” can reinforce your stance.
Keeping family bonds strong
Asking family not to kiss your baby can feel awkward, especially when so much love and excitement surrounds a new addition. However, remember that your priority is your baby’s health and safety. By communicating your “do not kiss baby” rule with kindness, respect, and clarity, you can keep family bonds strong and ensure everyone feels included in this special time in ways that support both the baby’s health and your peace of mind.
To get to know more about the risk of kissing a newborn baby, you may read this article from Healthline.