Funny things moms say to misbehaving children

It’s not easy to keep your cool when your child is throwing a fit. Sometimes in your attempt to make them stop, you blurt out the craziest threats and statements to get their attention.

We’ve talked to some amazing moms and asked them about the funny things they’ve said to their misbehaving kid.

These moms sure know how to knock our socks off!

funny things moms say

Try the wishful thinking angle.

"Me to my eldest: Ate, not because you want something does it mean you can get it! Kung ganun, eh di dapat nakapag Europe na ako!

Anak ko: Huh? Mom?"

- Clarice Anne Aviñante, 37, Positive Discipline Parent Educator

 

Create a story about kids that misbehave.

“My husband made up a story of the boy whose ears shrank because he did not listening to his mommy and daddy. He made that up when Caleb was in a stage of retaliation and he would tell him, ‘Hmm.. I think your ears are getting smaller.’ Takutin ba? Effective naman.”

- Kristina Estacio Villa, 37, SAHM of 2

 

Call others for help.

“'Ibibigay kita kay Aling Pasing, yung magsasaging o kay Mang Toto yung magtataho.’ My mom used to threaten me with this when I would misbehave as a kid. Nahawa na rin ako. The kids know I'm exasperated na pag ganun.”

- Noreen Velicaria Dollisen, 35, SEO Content Writer for Thumbtack

 

Make them laugh!

“When Kate and Tyler get upset for wanting something that they can’t have, I just say ‘You're face is getting ugly. Oh no! It's getting scary!!!’ He/she then runs to the mirror to look at his/her facial expression then would start laughing. It’s easier to talk to them when they're not so mad anymore.”

- Ann Buzeta, 36, SAHM and Registered Nurse

 

Bring up the poop subject.

“I'll let your poop eat you! Chomp, chomp, chomp!”

- Jufel Guinanao, 27, Licensed Librarian

 

Make another baby!

“Pag di ka umayos, gagawa na kami ng bagong baby ng Daddy mo at di ka na magiging baby uilt (di na talaga sya magiging baby kasi kuya na siya).”

- Jesusa Corazon Tan-Amoguis, 29, WAHM Freelancer

 

Because crying for no reason is futile.

“Okay lang umiyak pag may dahilan. Kung wala, halika. Gusto mo bigyan kita ng dahilan? *Insert sinister smile*”

- Jea Cruz, 37, WAHM and Entrepreneur

funny things moms say

Show them who’s tougher.

“’Don't you even try me. You haven't really seen how nasty I can be.’ Pangtakot lang with my then 9 year old.”

- Mira Rempillo, 36, Real Estate Broker and Freelance Web and Graphic Designer

 

Give them new names!

“’Hay, Pedrita. I love you!’ That's what I say whenever my tot misbehaves. She's like her Dada (hubby's nickname is Pedrito).”

- Sweet Sheryl Ingente-Valencerina, 32, Mompreneur and Owner/Photographer of Ingente-Valencerina Photography

 

No smiling policy!

“‘O sige magalit ka diyan! Panindigan mo! Bawal magsmile!’ I say this to our 3-year-old daughter. After we tell her that, she would cover her face and try to hide her smile, sometimes with little giggles pa. She can't help it. No matter how furious she is already and wailing all over, when we tell her that, even in an angry tone, she would always smile.”

- Wap Martinez-Mercader, 28, UX/UI Designer and Illustrator

 

Unleash the homework monster.

“Pag di mo tinapos ang assignments mo, ikaw ang tatapusin niyan.”

- Francesca Manalo Leonardo, 29, Proud SAHM

 

Put the apps they like in context.

“'Puro ka cellphone ha, ano ba natutunan mo diyan sa Facebook at Pinterest? Pin-tirisin ko yan ulo mo eh." I say this to my two older kids—laging nasa phone kasi.”

- Millie Manahan, 34, Writer

 

A taste of their own medicine.

“When my kids throw tantrums, I say, 'That's the best you can do?’ Then I start shouting and screaming a hundred times better than they can. They automatically keep quiet.”

- Marnee Kosca-Antonio, 43, SAHM and Baker, Retired Preschool Owner/Teacher

funny things moms say

Sometimes you gotta show them the real you.

“Kung matigas ang ulo mo, mas matigas ang ulo ko sa’yo.”

- Donna Donor, 38, ESL Online Teacher

 

Get all emotional.

“’Ikaw bata ka lagi mo pinapaiyak Mommy mo! Buti pa si Daddy, di ako pinapaiyak!’ (I always end up crying when my little one acts up.)”

- Viviene Grace Bigornia, 31, Mom on Duty at Kezi Baby

 

Use the classic line that never gets old.

Pauline Gaerlan-Espulgar, 36, Freelance Voice Professional

“Gusto mong ibalik kita sa tummy ko?!?!”

 

Use kiddie programs to drive the point.

Note: Make sure your older kids play along.

“’If you keep on misbehaving and crying, the Chikiting Patrol will come to take you for the day. Maglilinis kayo ng kalye for a day. The Chikiting Patrol goes around the city just looking for naughty kids. Now you behave so that when they pass by, they will not take you.’ This worked magic for my two eldest.

But when I tried it on my two younger ones the Ate gave me away.

‘Mom, the Chikiting Patrol used to be a children's show! They don't take away kids. And I used to believe you!’”

- Michelle Lim Padrelanan, 43, Events Director, Blogger, and Insurance Adviser

 

Talk about a future profession.

“’You should become a lawyer.’ (To Vito, who has rebuttals got everything!)”

- Martine De Luna, 36, Blogger at Makeitblissful.com

 

Time out with a twist.

“Nakahintay na ang time out chair mo! Gusto mo magusap kayo ni "wall"-e?”

- Nelle Tubog Gillesania, 38, SAHM, Baker, and Reseller

 

Want to add to our list of funny things moms say? Write what you've said in the comments below.

 

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