Remember the recent case about the grandfather who sexually assaulted his grandson?
The Court has decided to sentence the man to 12 years in jail for the heinous crime he committed. According to Singapore law, he could have been given eight to 20 years in jail and given at least 20 strokes of the cane. However, the man was spared from canning due to his age.
During the court hearing, it was discovered that the man made his first attempt to molest the child back in March 2015. This was three months after his daughter and her family had moved in with them.
According to court documents, the man had asked his grandson to follow him into the room. There he kissed and undressed his grandson before undressing himself.
The boy was molested but the horrible ordeal was cut short because their maid came home. His grandfather dressed him quickly and warned him not to tell anyone “as it would create problems with his parents”.
The Grandfather Who Sexually Assaulted His Grandson Made the Second Attempt a Year Later
The boy remained safe from Dec 1, 2015, to Sep 18, 2016, because his grandfather was in a drug rehabilitation center. However, only 10 days after his grandfather was released, the nightmare began again. The same scenario repeated, but this time the grandfather penetrated the boy with his finger.
The grandfather who sexually assaulted his grandson only stopped when the boy yelled out in pain. Like before, the boy was told not to tell anyone about what happened.
The grandfather went into the adjoining toilet to wash his finger and later went back in again to masturbate in the same toilet.
During the hearing, the defense brought up that a psychiatrist did not think that the grandfather was a homosexual or a pedophile. However, the court replied that this fact was an irrelevant factor for sentencing and there were other more aggravating factors. It was an abuse of trust and moral corruption. The court also took into account the three other charges which include showing the boy pornography.
Effects of Sexual Assault on Children
While the grandfather who sexually assaulted his grandson was sentenced, the nightmare does not end when the physical abuse ends. Some children continue to suffer psychological harm.
- Confusion – Often times children are groomed into thinking the assault was okay. Contrary to what most people think, not all sexual assaults end in pain. As a result, children may lose all concept of personal boundaries and be confused between the right and the wrong kind of touch. They cannot process what has happened because they do not understand. Was it really wrong? Does this make me unclean? What happens now that I’ve spoken up. What would my family and friends think of me?
- Guilt – When children are groomed they start believing they are responsible for the abuse. They falsely believe it was their fault and they contributed to the abuse and allowed themselves to be sexually assaulted.
- Shame – Even if children may not fully comprehend what is going on, the ordeal can still make them feel worthless or tainted.
- Fear – Abusers always use threats and shame to keep children from telling other people about their abuse. Sadly, it will be many years before they start feeling safe.
- Grief – If the abuser was a family or relative, children may end up mourning the loss of the relationship. Yes, close bonds can happen between the abuser and the victim.
- Anger – Some children may show intense and uncontrollable anger. Unable to voice out anything about the abuse, they may blame caregivers for not stopping or protecting them from the abuse.
- Helplessness – Likewise when it takes many years to get over an abuse, it also means years of helplessness for the victim. What if it happens again?
- Depression – When a child’s mental state is not dealt with, they may become reclusive and lose all interest in life.
Closure
It is important the family receive counselling support even after the grandfather who sexually assaulted his grandson has been convicted.
Victims and their families need to come to terms with strong opposing emotions experienced during the abuse and also after it has ended. There is the anger, the feeling of guilt, the blame, and the betrayal that this act was perpetrated by a trusted family member. How can they overcome this ordeal together? If adults find it hard to move on, imagine how much harder it is for children to handle guilt and broken trust.
The grandfather who sexually assaulted his grandson might be released someday, but seeking help can begin to free victims and their families, to help them find some form of closure. Then everyone can begin to heal and move forward and have a chance at enjoying happier lives in the future.
Source: Channel News Asia
Read also: Why you need to talk to your child about sexual abuse now!
Republished with permission from: theAsianParent Singapore