At this time when we're losing so many people we love because of Covid, can we celebrate the wonderful news of being pregnant? Read this mom's sharing about grief during pregnancy.
In this article, you'll read:
- Why she decided to keep the pregnancy a secret at first
- Grief during pregnancy - how does it get better?
Every pregnancy is a gift from God. Although it may be unforeseen and unwanted for some, the opportunity to bring life and love into the world is both exciting and beautiful if we look at it in a positive light.
A lot of pregnant women had lovely pregnancy reveal experiences, and every pregnancy has its own unique story to share. Read along with me as I reminisce about my childhood and recount my tumultuous pregnancy experience.
Keeping it a secret
My partner and I found out we were expecting our first child a few months ago. We were initially nervous and concerned about how our families would react.
We were both 20 years old and in our second year of college, and we knew our parents would be disappointed, so we kept the pregnancy news to ourselves. We only decided to tell my partner's sister after a month because we wanted to seek advice.
We were so unsure of what would happen. Our perception of ourselves and our vision for the future suddenly felt questionable. What will the next nine months bring? How can I manage to raise a child at this age? I was bombarded with questions, but with the help of my partner, I was able to accept the fact that in a few months my whole life will definitely change.
After a month, we decided to inform our parents of the good news, but things did not go as planned. Before we could share the good news to everyone, I received the most heartbreaking news.
A family member messaged me and sent me a picture of my mother lying on the floor, saying, "'Di na gumising mommy mo."
I first thought it was a bad joke, but it wasn't. My mother had died from a heart attack. I lost my mother at a critical moment in my life. I couldn't imagine my life without her, especially now that I will be a mother as well.
Grief during pregnancy
It took me months to recover from my mother's death. I was unable to accept it right away. I became disoriented, feeling like I lost half of myself. The feeling of grief took over that time of my pregnancy. I couldn't eat; I starved myself and stopped talking to my friends. I shut myself out to others. Throughout all this, I almost forgot I was carrying a tiny angel inside of me.
A few months after my mother died, I received another terrible news. I was told I had Covid-19. I was displaying symptoms of the medical condition. According to my doctor, I had a fever, runny nose, dry cough, and loss of taste which are symptoms of Covid-19.
I was isolated with my partner and some other pregnant women who also tested positive of Covid-19. I got stuck in a rut. It was really hard to go through all of these things while carrying a child in your womb.
That was such a dark moment in my life. Being sick with that condition was not easy especially when you’re pregnant. Of course, I worried about the what-ifs and how they might affect my baby. I asked my OB-Gynecologist, and she assured me that everything would be fine. She instructed me to take vitamins and to drink more water. She also advised me to eat nutritious snacks and meals.
READ MORE:
REAL STORIES: My husband lost his mother and grandmother within 9 days
Mom Confession: "We cut ties with toxic family members for our children's sake."
Losing an angel, gaining a new one
Now, I've already been told that I'm negative for Covid-19. All of the advice I received from my OB-GYN and some relatives was extremely beneficial to me. Prayers from family and friends saved me and my baby, and my partner's emotional, spiritual, and physical support assisted me in overcoming Covid.
However, despite the fact that my mother died months ago, I am still plagued by sadness and anxiety. I'm not sure when or how these will stop, but I know I have to keep going because my child needs me. I lost an angel, my mother, but God blessed me with a new one. I realized that this baby was sent to fill the void in my heart.
In the midst of all of my difficulties, I want to express my gratitude to God for providing me with those who assisted me in overcoming them. People who supported me, particularly my partner who never left my side. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I'm confident that everything will fall into place once my baby arrives.
My pregnancy experience may not have been as pleasant as that of other mothers, but it did teach me how to value life and to keep going. That no matter how difficult things appear, you must remain strong and endure all the tribulations that come your way.
To all pregnant women who are going through torments, I hope you could do it too. Always believe in yourself. Believe in your capabilities and strength. It may be stormy now but it won’t rain forever.
You are stronger and more competent than you realize, and while things may appear uncertain now, you have the power to make your own story and overcome barriers to build the best future for you and your kid.