Harnin "KB" Manalaysay: The secret to raising heroes

The adoptive father of three internationally-recognized heroes shares parenting tips on how to raise exceptional young men.

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Efren Peñaflorida became the pride of the country when he won the prestigious CNN Hero of the Year in 2009, for his Kariton Klasrum advocacy. Then came another wave of joy when 17-year-old Emanuel Bagual became one of the top 5 finalists (besting 400 nominees in 40 countries) for the International Children's Peace Prize, for his work in M.Y. Rights (Mind Your Rights), the foundation he established that upholds children’s rights.

But it was 13-year-old Cris “Kesz” Valdez who later bagged the coveted award. Kesz became the first Southeast Asian to be recognized as the International Children's Peace Prize awardee in 2012 for his foundation, Championing Community Children, which he started when he was just 7.

The award is considered to be the highest honor given to a child, and  is equivalent to the Nobel Peace Prize. Kesz stood alongside other nominees, including Malala Yousafzai, the inspiring young student from Pakistan who stood up to the Taliban and defended her right to an education.

Aside from bringing pride to the country, and their exceptional efforts that have brought real change to the lives of underprivileged children, there is another thread that ties these three young men together—their mentor and adoptive father, Harnin "KB" Manalaysay.

(FROM LEFT) Emanuel Bagual, KB Manalaysay, Efren Penaflorida and Cris Kesz at PeopleAsia's People of the Year Awards Night

NEXT PAGE KB shares why he started helping street children

KB Manalaysay, the founder of the non-profit organization Club 8586, has for the past 30 years  served as a father figure and mentor to hundreds of youth in Cavite City. Though Kesz is the only legally adopted son, KB considers all the children he cares for as dear sons and daughters. And this love is reciprocated, with all the kids fondly calling him "Tatz", short for "Tatay" or father.

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He was once like the very kids he takes care of today—neglected, physically abused, and left to fend for his own survival, but he has since dedicated his life to helping out-of-school youth, providing them food and shelter,  an education, as well as family. His home, which has grown into an expansive compound in Cavite, is open to all children in need.

Cris Kesz (the youngest) was one of the Kariton Klasrum students of Efren Penaflorida and Emanuel Bagual (in brown)

There are many kindhearted souls like KB who have led young men to find the right path out of dire situations, but what makes KB's story so interesting is how he has transformed all of his "sons" into such exemplary young men— compassionate, God-fearing, and most of all, inspiring servant leaders. All of them have grown up to be well-recognized heroes, not only in the Philippines but on foreign shores.

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How has KB been able to achieve this? He shares his wise words and advice.

NEXT PAGE The parenting secret to raising servant leaders

Can you describe your own childhood? 

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When I was a young man, I was led down a very dark path, dabbling in drugs and other illegal stuff. At 17, I went to Olongapo hoping to join the US Navy, but I fell short of the requirements. Fortunately, I was able to redirect my life after rediscovering my faith.

I grew up in Cavite City, helping my mother sell kakanin (rice cakes) in the streets. My father is not the responsible type, and he had a lot of vices. My siblings and I grew up adjusting to that.

My mother is the one who provided for us. From her I learned how to feed poor kids who are hungry by sharing our merienda with some of them for free. My mother often told me, "A little profit is enough; we must  share with those who are in need."

Many people would be content just helping a cause through donation, but you've opened your life to others. What led you to establish your foundation, Club 8586?  Why did you decide to take in children and help them?

I guess I learned much from my mother, and I am proud of that fact. It was my 1985 New Year's resolution to make my life count, and when I saw street kids begging and gambling near a church, I knew I wanted to help them. My heart melted as they told their stories. Many of them wanted to learn but didn't have the means or support of family, and so that drove me to start the very first street literacy program. This was before the famous Kariton Klasrum of Efren Penaflorida.

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NEXT PAGE How to take care of children who come from abusive homes

You've taken many under children under your wing—kids who have lived under differing circumstances of poverty and abuse. How do you address each and every need of the child?

In my case, I have more than 40 children in my care, either being housed or just being supported in their education. Each one is unique in their own way, so I treat them differently. I have to blend with their personality in order to understand them.

I do not love them equally, for they need love in different doses. Maybe it's more correct to say that I love them proportionately, just enough for their consumption. I love them according to how much they need.

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Most of the children who come to you have escaped abusive homes, and are cautious of strangers. How do you build trust, love, and teach discipline? 

Well, I have to be my entire real self for them to trust me. I make them experience that I am a person of integrity, someone whom they can rely on.

When it comes to love, well, love begets love. No matter how much love I give a person, it doesn't matter because love cannot be diminished or lessened. Ang ibigay ko sa isang tao hindi naman yun nauubos o nababawasan based on my supply. Discipline is part of the trust and loving. If they trust me enough to help them become successful, then we focus on building their character, which will need tough love at times.

Who has been the most influential/ pivotal person in your own life? 

Truly, my greatest inspiration in life is Jesus. He roamed streets, loved the children, taught his disciples, fed multitudes, and understood and served  the lost ones, who were the least understood and the last on the list. I can only do these things, because I believe in the phrase—"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

As a father to three recognized heroes, what is the secret to raising caring and compassionate kids who take pride in helping others?

I believe there is no secret at all. Just let them be their own person, listen to their good intentions, support them, and never leave them.

Many parents want to adopt, but are afraid that they may not be equipped mentally, financially, emotionally, and physically to care for a child who may have come from an abusive situation. What kind of parent does one need to be, to make sure that they can meet the needs of the child?

Every parent must know this. Children should be born from their hearts, and being true family is not measured by the thickness of their bloodlines, but by the distance of their hearts from one another.

NEXT PAGE How parents can become better role models

What is your guiding principle in life?

Mine is simple. When you see a need...DO SOMETHING!

What is the biggest lesson you want to impart to all children?

Love learning and embrace it, for it shall embrace and love you back. It will enable you to change your world.

What advice can you give parents? How can they become better role models? 

Parents, you were once children. What you were deprived of emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, never deprive your children.

If you would like to support the Championing Community Children,  M.Y. Rights, and the Dynamic Teen Company and their initiatives, or would like to know how you can help the children of Club 8586 , email  fcalendar@ymail.com or call (46)431 5263 or 0939 447 0791.

 

READ: Hero father’s love melts the hearts of netizens around the world

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Written by

Kaydee Dela Buena