Frustration is a part of life, but it is not just adults who have to go through this. As early as childhood, we have to deal with overwhelming feelings, situations that upset us, or confusing times that cause anxiety. How can parents help kids manage negative emotions?
What can you read in this article?
- How to help a child with low frustration tolerance
- Stress management techniques
- Teaching patience activities
How to help a child with low frustration tolerance
One key strategy is to equip kids with stress management techniques to help an easily frustrated and angry child grow into well-adjusted adults.
"We are, across the world, raising the most stressed out children on record,” Parenting and Character expert Dr. Michele Borba emphasized in an enlightening talk during the Unselfie Conference in Manila. "And when the stress builds you, dial down your empathy. You dial it down because you’re in survival mode because you’ve got to help yourself. Let’s help children be mentally healthier, but also keep empathy open."
She talks about the importance of empathy, which she believes is the value from which all good habits stem, in greater detail in her book, UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World.
During her talk, she touched upon practical tips for parents and educators to help kids navigate through the frustrating parts of life and what they can learn from it.
1. Tune in to your child
"You’ll begin to see stress signs come before the anger, meltdown or temper tantrums," says Dr. Borba, who is also a mom of three kids. "Starting at age 2, you can figure out a temper tantrum is approaching."
Emotional literacy begins when a child feels that she is your focus. So, parents need to tune in and pay attention more. Set aside those gadgets and your overflowing to-do lists, and take time for what should be at the top of your list.
"The greatest gift you can give your child is your presence," Dr. Borba stressed.
2. Keep track of stress patterns
"When is the stress most prevalent? What time or day?" Dr. Borba advises parents to ask themselves. "Stress is never every day. If you do this for a month and look back, you’ll see a pattern."
You can’t take away the stressor, but you can help them manage if you know their triggers.
Some kids even exhibit physical symptoms: headaches, nausea or rapid breathing. You know your child best. Note what sets them off and how it manifests in their behavior.
3. Model self-awareness
Looking inwardly, identifying your own stressors can help you be an effective role model. Kids are comforted when they see that their parent knows what they are going through.
Dr. Borba's tip is to ask your child what they observe your stressors—for instance, do your brows furrow when you’re upset?—to be to help them understand what their stressors are so they can tell themselves to calm down.
4. Dignify their feelings
Acknowledge their feelings of frustration, but don’t put them on the spot.
According to Dr. Borba, focusing on how to manage the feelings, instead of calling attention to them, is one good way kids can learn stress management techniques better.
5. Practice mindfulness
"According to neuroscience, finding a quiet place in your mind to go when frustrations are overwhelming can be of great help," continues Dr. Borba.
Even a minute can help improve a child’s outlook for 24 hours. Even taking slow, deep breaths can work wonders at calming kids.
Dr. Borba happily reported that mindfulness helped improve kids' grades as well as their behavior in class in a school in Oakland, California.
Character building doesn't just happen instantly, it is a series of habits taught consistently.
When it comes to stress management, children need to be self-aware, know what their triggers are and to be able to acknowledge them and calm themselves down.
It could be through breathing or holding on to an object that gives them comfort or whatever it takes to help them combat stress and anxiety.
The most important thing is the feeling of security, the constant reassurance that the beauty of their parent's love will guide them through the ugliest of emotions.
READ MORE:
Getting stressed out at a young age can affect kids up to adulthood
BOYS CAN CRY: How to Raise Boys That Are In Touch with Their Emotions
6. Stress management techniques for an easily frustrated and angry child
Your child can be stressed over a low quiz result, slow internet, or a toy you didn’t buy him or her, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is chronic stress which can lead to worse conditions as he or she grows up.
Long-term stress, if left unchecked, can lead to a slew of physical and mental health issues. Moreover, it can raise blood pressure, impair the immune system, and increase the risk of diseases including obesity and heart disease. It can also lead to mental health issues like anxiety and sadness, which are growing more common among teenagers.
Researchers studied data from the National Survey of Mental Health in 2018 and discovered that anxiety and depression rates in children aged 6 to 17 climbed from 5.4 percent in 2003 to 8.4 percent in 2011-12.
Recognize the source of stress
Stress can manifest itself in a variety of ways. You can recognize them through the following:
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Behavioral shifts
Sudden changes can indicate a high level of stress. For example, your child who was previously a good listener is now acting out, a once-active kid now refuses to leave the house, or your once studious child gets frustrated with homework.
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Anger and irritability
Because children don't always have the vocabulary to express how they're feeling, stress can build up and lead to a foul mood. Stressed children and teenagers may be more irritable or argumentative than usual. For example, your child gets frustrated with homework which he or she normally doesn’t.
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Sleeping problems
A child may complain of being sleepy all of the time, sleeping more than normal, or having difficulty falling asleep.
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Ignorance of responsibilities
Stress could be a factor if your child suddenly forgets homework, forgets obligations, or starts procrastinating more than usual.
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Changes in eating habits
Stress can cause you to eat too much or too little food.
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Experiencing more sickness
Physical symptoms of stress are common. Children who are stressed frequently complain of headaches or stomach aches.
Strategies to help an easily frustrated and angry child:
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Let them sleep well.
Experts recommend that children aged 6 to 12 need nine to twelve hours of sleep per night. Teenagers require eight to ten hours of sleep per night. To keep stress at bay, sleep must be prioritized.
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Talk to them, if they want to and if they’re ready.
Talking with a trusted adult about difficult events can help kids and teens put things in perspective and discover solutions.
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Spend time with nature.
Spending time in nature can help you relieve stress and enhance your overall health. People who live in locations with more green space had lower levels of sadness, anxiety, and stress, according to studies.
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Be more mindful.
Researchers discovered that youth who acquired mindfulness experienced much less emotional anguish than teens who did not in a five-week mindfulness training program for 13 to 18-year-olds.
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Show your support.
Pay attention to your child's worries. Allow your child to try to solve problems on his or her own. However, offer to assist and be available to your child when he or she requires assistance.
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Encourage more physical activities and exercise.
For people of all ages, physical activity is a crucial stress reducer. For youngsters aged 6 to 17, the US Department of Health and Human Services recommends at least 60 minutes of physical activity every day.
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Introduce journaling.
According to research, expressing oneself via writing can assist to lessen mental anguish and improve one's overall well-being. Writing about positive thoughts, such as what you're grateful for or proud of, has been shown in certain studies to help with anxiety and depression symptoms.
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Acknowledge what they’re feeling.
Telling children that you see they are unhappy or terrified, for example, is a good way to start. You can also tell them that you understand their fear, or whatever they are feeling. Let them know they are seen or heard.
Of course, a warm hug, and an “I love you” and “I care for you” always go a long way.
If these stress management techniques don’t work, you can always consult a medical professional to help and guide you. They will know what’s best to do, and how you could better understand your child.
Teaching patience activities
You may also teach your child activities that will enhance their patience and hopefully decrease their stress, frustration, and other feelings that arise because of it.
Here are easy montessori activities that teach patience:
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Taking turns.
Take turns with a toy, or let your child wait for a moment before giving him or her a toy or a snack. This is a terrific method to teach youngsters that not only do we have to wait for fun things occasionally, but there will be times when others are having the fun while we wait... That's OK.
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Cook and bake together
When you involve your child in the kitchen, there are several opportunities to teach patience. Cooking requires a lot of work and patience, from churning a recipe to a precise consistency to waiting for the dough to rise.
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Game: egg and spoon race.
Place a piece of tape at the beginning and end of the project. Allow your child to walk slowly and cautiously to the finish line while carrying an egg in a spoon.
Mention how being patient and care helped them reach the finish line without cracking their egg both during and after the game. Inquire about how it felt to move slowly when they were desperate to reach the finish line.
Above all else, it is you who knows your child best. You will definitely figure out what’s the best stress management technique or teaching patient activities that will help your kid especially if he or she is an easily frustrated and angry child.