Each child is unique and that goes for all aspects of their being. From their physical appearance to their personality, and even how they progress through developmental milestones, each one is different and that is okay. Respecting each one’s individuality is important but it’s also equally essential to know how to deal with each child’s personality.
As a mom of 3, I’ve learned through the years that there’s no “one parenting style fits all”. Given that each of my kids have their own personalities, wants and needs, it’s a balancing act to make sure that they are nurtured in the best way possible.
I first came across the book Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle ten years ago. Her book discusses how to raise a happy, successful, and cooperative child while disciplining less. According to Tuttle, there were 4 child types and while each child is different, they fall into one of 4 different energy types namely Fun-Loving Type, Sensitive Type, Determined Type, and Serious Type.
Child energy types
Based on these energy types, you can then determine the best approach to understand them and to encourage them to cooperate. While I don’t believe that you can put kids into ‘boxes’, my children do have a certain nature to their character that rings true to Tuttle’s child types.
The Fun-Loving Type
The fun-loving type child is said to connect to the world socially. Their main need is to have fun and have happy parents and are often described as friendly, light-hearted, and bright.
Based on Tuttle’s model, if a fun-loving type child is having a tantrum, parents should assess the situation if the child feels too controlled, spends too much time alone, or maybe something serious happened. In these cases, the best approach would be to surprise the child, do a fun activity, or promote friendship.
One of a child’s personality is fun and being jolly. | Image from iStock
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The Sensitive Type
The sensitive child connects to the world emotionally. Their primary need is to have their feelings heard and to connect with their family. They are described as mindful, shy, and gentle.
Children under this energy type can become upset if they feel dismissed and ignored, or if something intense occurred. For Tuttle, the best approach would be to reassure your child. Give them time to relax, and to connect with them.
Another child’s personality is being sensitive. | Image from iStock
The Serious Type
Last but not the least is the serious type. Children who fall under this energy type are connected to the world on an intellectual level. They tend to be straightforward, efficient, and analytical.
Their primary need is to give and receive respect and it can upset them when they feel embarrassed, disrespected, or when something makes them lose focus. The best approach for serious kids is to respect their authority. Listen when they are speaking, and to support structure in their routine.
The Determined Type
Image from iStock
The determined child connects to the world physically. He or she is active and determined and loves new experiences. Children of this energy type may act out if there aren’t enough physical outlets or if he or she is constantly being told ‘no’.
According to Tuttle, the best approach for the determined type is to let them have adventures and to encourage activities.
My 3 kids fall into different energy types and I’ve found Tuttle’s approach helpful when dealing with them when they are upset. It also helps me acknowledge their differences in a healthy way, allowing me to focus on their needs to avoid any conflict.
It’s important to keep in mind that we are not our kids and they are not each other. At the end of the day, loving their uniqueness and helping them succeed in their own way is what matters most.
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