5 Tips on How to Develop Your Daughter's Self-Esteem
Did you know that young girls look up to social media trends and to celebrities for behavior to emulate? Read this to know how these can have adverse effects on their development.
In May 2015, a video of a girl eating mamon in a "childish" manner went viral across the country. Dubbed the "Pabebe Girl," the girl's pa-cute antics has since garnered her a following on Facebook, leaving her vulnerable to a deluge of comments that were mostly negative.
Even then, the "Pabebe Girl" took her detractors in stride and continued to upload several other videos that went viral as well.
While many adults voiced out their amusement and/or annoyance, one wonders how the videos affect its younger audience, specifically young girls. Would they find the videos amusing? Would they consider it an antic to give a try so they could become viral, too?
According to Michelle Alignay, a registered psychologist who deals with family life and parenting, girls as young as pre-puberty are in the stage of trying to explore their individuality. While doing so, they turn to trends and "role models" around them for reference.
Meaning, a young girl may emulate the latest trend or what works for the adult they look up to, in hopes that it would work for them, too. If this means uploading a video regardless of the content, then why not? After all, if and when this attention seeking behavior goes viral, their self-esteem is boosted.
According to Alignay this kind of self-worth or self-esteem, developed from external sources, is unhealthy and should instead be developed through the real uniqueness of the person. This is why it is crucial for you, as a parent, to know how to develop your daughter's self-esteem. You should be a living example of the behavior you want your daughter to emulate versus letting her "search for herself" in a myriad of trends that could later be detrimental to her well-being.
5 Tips On How to Develop Your Daughter's Self-esteem
1. Be the primary source of attention and self-esteem for your daughter
If your daughter feels the need to upload videos of herself to get attention, then perhaps she isn't getting enough attention at home.
"When parents give due attention, are positive, are affirming of their daughter's positive traits, and make her feel that she matters, their daughter will then be able to build her sense of worth and self-identity," shares Alignay.
2. Praise the effort, not the achievement
While parents congratulating their daughter for high scores or for an excellent piano recital is common practice, giving praise for the effort it took to accomplish such a task is just as important. In fact, praise for effort should be given even when she falls short of her goal despite her best efforts.
Because this encourages her to push past the notion of her "best efforts" and to excel in her performance in order to complete a task. Also, it is so she will not equate her self-worth to accomplishments and think that she is only worthy of love and praise when she does something right.
3. Show your daughter you care about her interests
Parents can foster a loving and caring bond by showing interest in whatever tickles their daughter's fancy. Whether its sports, reading, or arts and craft, parents should take an active role in learning about it so that they show their daughter that her interests matter—and that, ultimately, she matters.
4. Foster an open line of communication
As your daughter gets older, she may come across obstacles that will prove too overwhelming for her to handle. Rather than have her turn to her peers, encourage her to talk to you—all the while resisting the urge to pass judgment and to jump into conclusions.
With the proper guidance and encouragement, it is okay for parents to allow their daughter to struggle through obstacles. This helps develop character. However, should a parent deem it necessary to intervene then, by all means, they should.
5. Be a positive role model
If parents demonstrate self-destructive behavior, they can be sure that their daughter will pick up on it. Therefore, it is important that parents themselves have a healthy sense of self-worth. This allows them to properly guide their daughter and shower her with the love and affection that she needs.
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