How to Enhance Your Child’s EQ
It has been observed that children with high EQ have a good relationship with family members, peers, colleagues and with anyone they meet and encounter. So, how do you ensure that your child has high emotional intelligence?
Gone are the days when IQ is taken as more important than EQ in the development of a child’s personality. I was taught how to read and write and my parents prepared me to respond appropriately to the demands of schooling. But I have not been given a lesson on the development of my EQ. Thanks to Daniel Goleman! He presented a certain significant aspect of one’s personality which brings an individual to the ladder of success. He points out that EQ is taken as an indicator of success for every individual.
EQ or Emotional Intelligence can be defined as one’s capacity to perceive and manage one’s emotions, to understand the emotions of others and to respond appropriately in every situation in relation to all these. This definition might be too general but it points out how important EQ is in your kid’s life. EQ can fully build a child’s personality, making him or her well-rounded and complete as an individual.
Developing your child’s EQ leads your child to understand his/her very self, and to become responsible and respectful towards others. Therefore, your child is able to build his or her self esteem in a well-adjusted manner. It has also been observed that children with high EQ have a good relationship with family members, peers, colleagues and with anyone they meet and encounter. So, how do you ensure that your child has high emotional intelligence?
First, assist your child in his attempt to engage on self-awareness. Self-knowledge is a life-long process and it should start in his/her early years. The child should know his strengths and limitations, talents, giftedness and weaknesses. For instance, you can make your child realize his or her capacity to do things on his or her own by telling him or her “you can do it.” This is one way for the child to understand his/her capacity. The more the child knows these, the more he/ she can also understand others.
Second, after the child has achieved a degree of self-knowledge, support him/her to come to the self-acceptance level. This is easily said than done since it takes time for one to accept one’s limitations and weaknesses especially those that can no longer be changed. However, being able to accept one’s self leads the way to emotional maturity. An example to this is when I or my husband will say “I’m sorry” to our daughters whenever we commit mistakes. Eventually, our daughters have learned to accept their mistakes as well as their weaknesses. So when they commit mistakes or have hurt anyone, they would readily say “I’m sorry.”
Third, lead your child in his/her attempt to build self-worth. Self-worth involves a person’s capacity to value himself / herself. One can never have self-worth unless an individual has a certain degree of self-acceptance and self- knowledge. You can build your child’s self-worth when you allow him or her at an early age to decide on what food to eat, or what clothes to wear. Another is when you allow him or her to accomplish some tasks without your help. Based on my observations, my eldest daughter has developed her self-worth because I constantly ask her to decide on simple things or to do things on her own. There are even times that she would correct me or my husband to call her by her name and not by her sister’s name. Obviously, she already knows her worth as an individual.
Finally, encourage your child to build a positive self-concept. This can be facilitated through recognition and appreciation of what your child has done or is doing. Just by saying “thank you”, “good” “keep it up”, or “do that again” to your child you are already reinforcing a positive self-concept. Consequently, your child will become confident of what he or she can do. He or she will be able to do things independently. Just like what my three-year old daughter does when she cannot get objects that are beyond her reach. Instead of crying out to us for help, she will take the initiative of pulling a chair and in using it to get the object she was at first unable to reach. She knows her limitation but she is able to find her way to overcome it.
When your child has self-knowledge, self-acceptance, self-worth and a positive self-concept, he or she will grow to become emotionally mature. If this happens, he or she will be able to exhibit empathy for others which will lead to a good relationship with anyone he or she meets. So, parents start enhancing your child’s EQ today and guarantee your child's success tomorrow.