Once you become a parent, it’s common for intimate time with your partner to take the backseat. With all the day’s tasks, sex can be the last thing on your mind. In some cases, it can even feel like a chore, but this doesn’t have to be the case. It’s possible to have great sex without exerting too much effort!
The first step is being honest with your partner when you really don’t feel like it. If you do feel like making love, but have no willpower or energy to do so, there are ways around that.
Here are some ways to enjoy sex even when you’re too tired.
1. Amp up the anticipation!
Foreplay goes a long way. Don’t underestimate it. Making out or using your hands while lying down are perfect ways to arouse each other when you’re in the mood, but too tired. “Learn to give each other simultaneous pleasure just using your hands,” recommends sexologist Gloria Brame in an interview with Men’s Fitness.
Follow the 10-minute rule. If you’re in the mood, but can’t seem to muster up the energy, don’t put pressure on yourself. Just wait. Research has found that some couples need a “warm up” before really getting into the intimacy zone.
2. Broaden your concept of sex
Penetrative sex isn’t the only way to please your partner! Venture out of your comfort zone and try methods that require less effort, like oral sex or making use of your fingers. Find out what you and your partner are comfortable with, and explore it. Sometimes, even a sensual massage is all your better half needs.
3. Don’t pressure yourself
Go slow. Quickies don’t have to always be “fast and vigorous.” Savouring the experience involves going for lingering touches, kisses, and other forms of stimulation. Besides, going slow usually prepares your body for achieving climax better than any rapid intercourse can.
4. Do it the right way
If you’re tired, you should know what sex positions to assume in order not to waste what energy you have left. The classic missionary position might come to mind, but you can also try spooning and dangling positions to make sex when tired more enjoyable. For illustrations of these positions, refer to this article.
Remember: using pillows and making sure you’re comfortable is a good way to make sure it doesn’t take too much effort.
5. Don’t base good sex on orgasm alone
Making climax or orgasm the sole focus of intimacy can force you to view sex as a race. While seeking to achieve the pinnacle of pleasure is natural, it may cause even more exhaustion and add too much pressure. Removing it as your end goal allows you both to appreciate the effort more, and enjoy whatever intimacy takes place.
6. Spice things up
Lastly, you must evaluate why sex has become a chore for you. Perhaps it is not just because of physical exhaustion. Is there some emotional or mental issue you’d like to address? Or do you simply want to try new things to make intimacy more exciting? Don’t hesitate to communicate! Intimacy goes beyond the physical. To truly enjoy sex, you and your partner have to be connected on all levels.
Sources: Fatherly, Cosmopolitan, Hitched, Men’s Fitness
READ: 5 Best sex positions for sneaking a quickie