"I'm Glad You Shared That": A Simple Phrase That Can Change Your Child's Life Through the Power of Non-Judgmental Listening
Learn how to listen to your child effectively with non-judgmental techniques that build trust, confidence, and strong parent-child relationships.
How to listen to your child? Many times, as parents, we might think that our role is to teach, advise, or solve problems for our child. But in reality, what children need most may not be long lectures or judgments of right and wrong—it’s non-judgmental listening from their parents.
Did you know that a simple phrase like, “I’m glad you shared that” can be the starting point for building a stronger and longer-lasting relationship than you might expect? Learning how to listen to your child and practicing non-judgmental listening are key ways to support their emotional growth.
What Is Non-Judgmental Listening and Why Is It Important?
Non-judgmental listening means fully paying attention to what your child says without rushing to criticize, jump to conclusions, or place blame on them.
Simple example:
If a child says, “I broke the glass,” a parent who listens without judgment might respond:
“I’m glad you told me. I’ll help clean it up.”
Instead of saying:
“Why are you so clumsy? Be more careful!”
The first response teaches children that they can tell the truth without fear of being scolded or criticized.
The Psychology Behind It
- Attachment Theory (Bowlby, 1969): Children who are met with warmth and understanding develop a secure attachment, which forms the foundation for confidence and future relationships.
- Harvard Center on the Developing Child: Research shows that when children are heard and their feelings validated, it directly supports the development of the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for emotion regulation and problem-solving.
- Positive Parenting: Non-judgmental listening helps children learn communication skills and boosts their self-esteem.
Real-Life Examples by Age
Age 3: Child says, “I broke the glass.”
When a child admits a mistake, like breaking something, and chooses to tell their parents, responding with “I’m glad you told me” and helping clean up is a response filled with understanding rather than scolding. Learning how to listen to your child this way teaches them that telling the truth is safe and that parents are always a safe space. This nurtures responsibility through trust, not fear.
Age 5: Child shyly says, “I accidentally peed at my friend’s house.”
In an embarrassing situation, a parent who hugs the child and says, “I’m glad you told me” helps reduce shame. Listening without judgment builds self-esteem, making the child feel valued and supported, which encourages them to face future mistakes confidently.
Age 7: Child says, “My friend doesn’t like me.”
When children face small but significant emotional pain, simply saying “I’m glad you told me” demonstrates how to listen to your child with non-judgmental listening, showing that their sadness is acknowledged. Parents can add, “Your friend may change, but your value doesn’t,” which helps build self-worth.
Age 10: Child says, “I scored lower than I expected on the test.”
When children face academic pressure or comparisons with peers, hearing “I’m glad you told me” from their parents reduces feelings of disappointment. Listening without judgment teaches children that parental love isn’t conditional on grades and encourages them to try again while valuing effort over numbers.
Age 12: Child says, “I had a fight with my best friend.”
At this age, friendships become very meaningful, and conflicts can feel overwhelming. When parents hug and say, “I’m glad you told me”, children feel that their feelings matter and are not dismissed. Non-judgmental listening helps children manage emotions and develop skills for resolving future relationship conflicts.
Age 15: Child says, “I feel pressured to follow my friends but I’m afraid of making mistakes.”
In early adolescence, children often face peer pressure in school, activities, or risky behavior. Simply saying “I’m glad you told me” reassures them that their confusion is not criticized. Learning how to listen to your child and practicing listening without judgment provides a safe space to share, encouraging teens to seek guidance rather than hide their feelings.
How to Practice “Non-Judgmental Listening” for Parents | |
| 1. Listen attentively |
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| 2. Don’t rush to solve the problem |
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| 3. Validate your child’s feelings |
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| 4. Avoid negative or judgmental comments |
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| 5. Use safe, reassuring phrases repeatedly |
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Long-Term Benefits of Non-Judgmental Listening
Non-judgmental listening may seem like a small daily act, but it has significant long-term effects:
- Boosts Self-Esteem: Children believe their feelings are valuable.
- Develops Communication Skills: Children learn to share and listen to others.
- Reduces Mental Health Risks: Children raised in homes where they are heard are less likely to experience depression or anxiety.
- Builds Strong Relationships: Accumulated trust strengthens parent-child bonds throughout life.
Children raised in a home where parents listen with understanding grow up more confident, open to communication, and aware of their self-worth. No matter how challenging the outside world may be, they always know that home is a place where they are heard without judgment.
Advice for Parents
Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect, and you don’t need the right answer every time. What children truly need is someone willing to listen without judgment. In a world filled with comparisons, competition, and societal judgment, home should be the one place where they feel, “I am heard without being judged.”
Simply saying, “I’m glad you told me” can plant seeds of trust, courage, and lasting love in a child’s heart for life.
Originally published on theAsianparent Thailand