Letting go, Mom, helps boost your child’s independence.
Your child is off to preschool for the first time and somebody has a bad case of separation anxiety – you! Separation anxiety is often thought to be the domain of children, but parents admit to feeling anxious too as they send their growing “baby” to school.
Stay-at-home mom Sheh Agustin almost cried, with matching cracked voice, at the parenting seminar of her daughter’s school. Her then three-year-old felt her mother’s separation anxiety. As a result, she refused to be left alone in the classroom for almost half the school year.
Patricia Cuyugan, on the other hand, was shocked when her son easily let go of her hand upon seeing his classroom. He ran inside without even looking back. She stayed on her spot for 15 minutes, waiting for her little boy to come looking for her. He didn’t, so she cried her separation anxiety away instead.
So, how do you get over your separation anxiety when you are about to send your little one to school for the first time? Here are some tips from moms who have been there.
1. Relax
Patricia, blogger and freelance writer, has learned to relax. She reminds herself that she chose her son’s school carefully and must trust her choice.
So, relax and look at your child’s time at school as opportunity for you to do all the other things that you’ve always wanted to do. Thinking this way will help you get over your separation anxiety.
2. Be friends with the teachers
Sheh decided to talk to the school principal and her daughter’s homeroom teacher often to establish a relationship with them. She wanted to be able to trust the people her daughter is with everyday to help her drive away her separation anxiety.
She noticed that as she became comfortable, so did her daughter. They were able to move on to saying “goodbye and see you later” without any tears from either of them.
3. Trust your child
The thought that your “baby” needs you all the time is actually the source of your separation anxiety. But she can probably do a lot of things on her own given the chance. Children are resilient and usually adapt to any situation.
Stay-at-home mom Raquel Guevarra thought her daughter would cry during the first day of school. But like Patricia’s son, her little girl walked away from her to the classroom and did not even look back.
4. Talk about her day
If you are suffering from separation anxiety because you are afraid to lose your special connection with your child, find a common ground.
Take note of what’s happening around the school and ask about her day. Ask her about the new school decor or her new playmate in the playground. You will usually be the first person that she will want to tell her new adventures to anyway.
5. Accept the growing-up process
We must all accept that our children will not stay young and small forever. Letting them go to school without drama is part of that!
Mommy Mai Danganan freely admits that she cried the first time that her son went to school without her. A letter she wrote to him during those emotional times, however, states that “part of your growing up means you have to start spreading your wings and learn how to fly.”
Children take their cues from their parents. Your separation anxiety will most probably rub off on your child. Therefore, resolving to manage your separation anxiety will definitely help your child in the first few days and months of going to school.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: MARIEL UYQUIENGCO
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