Age-by-age guide on how to play with your kids

One of the most exciting moments of having a baby is that stage where your son or daughter is old enough to play and bond on activities with you.

By now, even if your infant still isn’t able to walk, you must have a lot of activities and games in mind. But what’s the perfect play for babies of different ages? And how much should I play with my child? And how to play with a toddler?

What can you read in this article? 

• How to play with a toddler
• How to play with preschoolers
• Tips: I struggle to play with my child

How to play with a toddler

Researcher Mildred Parten released her thesis in 1929, laying out the six stages of play. These are the stages of play that children experience during their first five years of life. However, remember that each child develops at his or her own pace, so your baby or other people’s babies may not engage in the same kinds of activities even with the same age.

Parten’s six stages of play: How to play with a toddler 

Unoccupied play

This stage happens at birth up to 3 months. From the first months of infancy, unoccupied play can be noticed. At this point, the baby’s arms, legs, hands, and feet are all moving around a lot. They are discovering and learning about how their bodies move.

For example, your baby interacts with and giggles at her toy mobile attached to her crib. 

Solitary Play

Solitary play happens from 3 months to 2 years. It occurs when your baby entertains themselves without interacting with other children or adults. You may worry about your baby playing along but this is a completely normal stage of play. Children can explore freely, acquire new personal abilities such as motor or cognitive skills, and ready themselves to interact with others while they engage in solitary play.

Onlooker Play

Onlooker Play happens at 2.5 to 3.5 years of age. Onlookers are children that sit back and watch other children play but do not participate. Their active role in the game is to observe others. 

Children can learn a lot by watching others, just as adults may learn a lot by watching others too. For example, people-watching at the park. They learn about social rules of play and relationships, they experiment with different ways of playing or using things, and they gain a better understanding of the world in general.

Parallel Play 

This happens at 3.5 to 4 years old. Parallel Play happens when kids are playing next to each other but aren’t really interacting. At this age, youngsters are not actually participating in social interactions but are learning and practicing new skills while working side by side. 

For example, sisters play with dolls but are playing with different and separate stories and scenarios.

Associative Play

This is where the change happens, at 4 to 4.5 years old. Your child may begin to become more interested in interacting and playing with other children. 

Associative play lets children put what they’ve learned from Observer and Parallel Play into practice. During activities or excursions, they can begin to apply their newly acquired social skills to interact with other children or adults.

Cooperative Play

Cooperative play appears soon after associative play and is a fully integrated social group activity.

Expect to observe children playing together and sharing the same game throughout this time. The kids will have the same goals: assign roles in the game to one another, and work together to achieve their predetermined gameplay objectives.

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How to play with preschoolers

Playing with a preschooler is different from playing with your baby or with a toddler. When your child starts going to school, he or she will be receptive to more activities where you can bond together as he or she learns and develops his or her skills. 

Costume party

At this age, your child will become more imaginative and creative. You can play dress up and let your child choose whatever he or she wants to be.

A fairy? A racecar driver? A doctor? A turtle? Aside from costumes, you can also use props such as building blocks and toys related to your costumes. 

Play dough and kinetic sand

As these two toys can be exciting to kids, it is for adults too! Bond in a session of molding and building things with play dough, clay, and kinetic sand. 

It’s an excellent technique to improve fine motor skills, which will benefit your child when they start writing. This is also a way for you to de-stress while bonding with your kid. Don’t forget the snacks!

Get it physical

You can also introduce more physical activities such as playing catch, basketball, frisbee, or going to the neighborhood playground. You may also try more intense activities such as trekking in the woods, wrestling on the floor, or crossing a creek. 

Board Games

Enhance their critical thinking skills by introducing board games. Aside from this, board games also teach children decision-making and strategic planning skills. Moreover, it also instills values of respect, acceptance of failure, and coping with frustration.

Legos

Interactive games, such as Legos, provide greater opportunities for creativity, problem-solving, and quick decision-making. Let your child build various creations, and solve problems that come his or her way. 

You can also introduce playing video games that promote the same skills, but of course in a time-constricted play. 

Tips: I struggle to play with my child

To make playtime more exciting with your child, you may want to try these tips in supporting your child through his or her stages of play.

Let your child play at his or her own pace.

Children grow differently. Do not pressure your child into accomplishing a certain stage because he or she is expected to, at her age. Let him or her grow and develop at his or her own pace. 

Set the scene.

Give your child the opportunity to explore. Whether it’s pulling out new items to examine, visiting a museum with your child, or simply going for a walk around the block. Assist your child in discovering new places, things, and people with whom to play.

Support and guide your child along the way.

Your presence and involvement in their activity provide them with the necessary aid, just as a steady hand does when your child starts to walk. They may require emotional support in new situations, instruction in new abilities, or inspiration and ideas from a loved one. As a result, always be there to help them reach new heights.

You won’t always know what to do but knowing how to play with toddlers or how to play with preschoolers will negate that “I struggle to play with my child” feeling.

With this as a guide, and with you as someone who knows your child best, you will definitely be able to play with your child and help him or her grow and progress.