After settling down, couples also settle into daily routines and ways of relating to one another. You build a home—a comfort zone—but if you’re not careful, there is a tendency to get a bit too comfortable, forgetting that a happy marriage, needs constant, genuine effort.
Even if men aren’t as expressive with their emotions, this doesn’t mean they are unfeeling. They do have feelings, but they show them differently (often in extremely subtle or overt ways) that’s why it’s easy for women to feel like they aren’t as valued as they once were early on in the relationship.
Though you may not mean to, your words and actions can sometimes make your wife feel like they’re no longer a valued part of your life. It doesn’t happen overnight, says marriage therapist Frank Gunzburg, Ph.D. His advice is to start relating to your spouse as a best friend, as you deal with feelings of inadequacy or being undervalued together. It’s also important, advises Dr. Gunzburg, to set aside negative thoughts and feelings of frustration.
photo: dreamstime
Hubbies, read up! Here are 8 ways to make your beloved wife feel that you deeply appreciate and value her!
When she vents, listen
Don’t interrupt her or talk over her. Just let her talk when she’s upset; let her rant and vent, because she needs you to listen to her.
Don’t downplay what upsets her
Just because a certain issue is not a big deal to you, it doesn’t mean you should discount her feelings. Don’t undermine her, but encourage her to voice out why it upsets her, while reassuring her that you’re just there for whatever she needs.
Don’t offer to fix a problem immediately
No one wants to see the one they love suffer, but if we offer solutions before even hearing them out, it could just frustrate them even more. Sometimes, she doesn’t want suggestions on how to solve a problem yet; she just wants to be heard. After that, support her and take her cue when offering advice.
Ask about her day
Wanting to be heard doesn’t go away on good days. Even when nothing much is happening, asking her about her day went can truly reassure her you care about her even in a simple way. Try to be specific when you ask, too, in order to encourage a conversation instead of monosyllabic answers.
Ask her advice
Involving her in decision making and seeking her advice shows her you value her opinion.
Tell her before making plans
This doesn’t mean you have to ask for permission for every little thing. Just make sure you disclose your plans and decisions, big or small. She is your life partner, after all, right?
Pick up your own weight
Being considerate about finances and even household chores can show her you really care! We’re sure many moms would agree that, sometimes, saying “I’ll wash the dishes” is even more romantic than any sweet nothings could ever be.
Make an effort to be romantic
This doesn’t mean that romance has to go out the window. Sweep her off her feet, every now and then with grand gestures and romantic dates! Don’t take this for granted, because wooing your wife even if you’ve been married for a long time will truly remind her that she’ll forever be the love of your life!
READ: Prioritize your wife above these 5 people!
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