Husband’s lament about not being able to ‘afford his wife’ goes viral

Share this article with other moms

Steven Nelms' blog about why he can't afford his stay-at-home wife has gone viral. But not for reasons you'd probably expect.

At first blush, this statement would make most women cringe. But reading the blog entry containing Steven Nelms' 'rants' will prove otherwise.

Through his blog, we learned that Steven has been married to Gloria Nelms for three years now. Gloria is a full time, stay-at-home mom to their toddler Ezra.

It was a decision they agreed upon: Gloria would stay at home as long as it "made sense".

In the blog, however, Steven reveals that he has changed his mind. Taking all the facts and necessary expenses into account, he discovered that he cannot afford it Gloria continues to be a stay-at-home mom.

He writes, “My wife stays home and takes care of our son every single day. She changes his diapers, feeds him, plays with him, puts him down for his nap, and comforts him when he’s upset. And that’s just the bare minimum.”
He then continues that although one cannot ascribe a monetary value to being a good parent, he also recognizes that there is "a quantifiable dollar amount that can be attributed to the services rendered.”

How much should Gloria be earning?

He backs this potentially controversial statement with personal research which led him to conclude that this is what his wife should be earning:

Average weekly salary for a full-time nanny: $705 (Php 33,600)

Cleaning service: $50 to $100 per visit once a week (Php 2,400-4,800)

Personal shopper (running errands like groceries, etc.): $65 per hour at 4 hours a week (Php 3,100)

Chef / Cook: $240 a week (Php 11,500)

Financial assistant (budgeting, paying the bills, etc.): $15 an hour at 5 hours a week (Php 700/hour)

Professional interactions (business dinners, etc.): $75 per hour at 4 hours per dinner 3 times a year, (Php 3,600)

Laundry: $25 a week (Php 1,200)

It all amounted to an annual salary of $73,960 (or 3.5 million Php).

Quantifying the unquantifiable

"Looking objectively at an almost insultingly conservative average of the services rendered, I cannot afford my wife," concludes Steven.

“The truth is, I’m ashamed of any time I’ve ever made her feel guilty or humored when she’s purchased something for herself," he confesses. "I’m ashamed that she has ever felt like she doesn’t have just as much right to our income as I do.”

Here Steven arrives at his point. The money he earns is just as much hers as it is his.

It's actually a sweet attempt at quantifying the unquantifiable.

“She loves me, loves our son, and loves our family, so obviously she isn’t doing any of those things for a paycheck or even for recognition. But it certainly doesn’t hurt to know that as a stay-at-home mom her appraised salary is nearly double my actual income.”

You can read the entire viral blog entry here.

READ: Take the 52-week Money Challenge and save over Php130,000!

If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them in our Comment box below. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Google+ to stay up-to-date on the latest from theAsianparent.com Philippines!

Marriage Marital Issues Family Life Marriage Advice