Despite the difference in our salaries, we have managed to sail through, mostly because I have an understanding husband and logical conversations
I earn almost 25 % more than my husband. But our situation is slowly becoming less unique.
Despite the difference in our salaries, we have managed to sail through smoothly. Most of it is possible because I have an extremely understanding and logical husband. Therefore, most of our life goals are practical and based around logical conversations.
Here are four of those conversations that have helped keep our marriage sane and loving.
1. We make short-term goals happen together
Both of us have our individual life goals, for which we are willing to save a little bit more.
For me, the goal is to travel the world.
So in order for us to make that happen, I am willing to save my earnings and invest it something I will cherish forever. Even though my husband doesn’t enjoy travelling for leisure as much as I do (since he already gets transferred so much), I pay for most of the elements of the trip.
Our solution: While he does enjoy travelling and makes the plans with me, we may not share a 50/50 percent cost, but he certainly pitches in as much as he can. This means that I pay for the airline, or the hotels and the travel.
But once we are there, we evenly split expenses. So that means he pitches in for restaurants or our small shopping spree or intercity travels.
Now, since he contributes to help fulfill my short-term goals, I contribute to his in non-financial ways. For instance, photography is my husband’s passion, so I help him suggest themes or sit with him for edits.
We learned: By understanding our short-term goals we know what the other likes and how we can work together to make that happen.
Because he knows that travelling is my passion and I am saving up for it, there is no guilt or resentment on his part that he cannot share expenses equally. But he knows that I am always present for his short-term goals.
2. We plan finances for our long-term goals
We are planning to start a family soon and then later buy a house. Both of which require a major chunk of our income. So when we sit down for our financial challenge conversation, it boils down to two thing - savings for our deposit and planning out the mortgage.
However, we are not sure about our individual contributions to our mortgage in say, 20 or 30 years down the line. Simply because, his salary could eventually overtake mine, meaning we can talk about it once we get to that bridge. Plus, his is a permanent job and mine is not.
Our solution: We collectively decided that since our income are disparate and at the moment I have the luxury to save for the deposits as well as contribute to our short-term and long-term goals, I can lead the charge.
Part of the reason I am extremely comfortable with this decision is because his salary will exponentially increase in just a few years. So the inequality in our contributions will have a shelf-life.
But this is a discussion that we might revisit from time to time based on our current financial situations.
We learned: When it comes to long-term expenses, we can still take our time and decide what we want. Since we are also planning a family, our short-term goal for the next one or two years will automatically shift in that direction (maternity insurance and baby care).
As for our long-term goal, I can continue to save and revisit the discussion later.
Continue reading to know our next conversation that every couple must have before living together