It was September 29 , 2021 at exactly 1:25 AM . I gave birth to our rainbow baby.
Did you wonder why I called her a rainbow baby? Sabi kasi nila ang rainbow baby ay ang mga isinilang pagkatapos mamatayan ng anak ang mga magulang. I will share what happen to our first born before I give birth to our rainbow baby .
I was 19 at that time when I give birth to our first born. We are both excited especially our family because it was their first granddaughter-to-be. My pregnancy went smooth until the time that it became my nightmare.
It was February 29, 2020, I was about to pee when I saw blood through my thigh. That time, I already panicked. I did not know what will I do and my mother also panicked and I cried because I’m scared what might happen to me and our baby.
My mother shout for help. They call my partner because my partner is at work that time. There are people who surrounded me but that time I didn’t know what to do because I’m scared to lose my baby.
We went to the clinic to get help and they didn’t help us directly because we left our documents and my mother got angry. Its about life and death . I saw blood and my vision is already blurred at that time. I can’t hear anything.
The BHW (barangay health worker) said that we have go to hospital so we did.
When I was in the ambulance, my mother cried and always said “Fight and pray”.
We arrived at the hospital at exactly 11 AM. The doctor and nurses directly go to our direction and asked what happened. I can’t say any words because I was in shock so they asked my mother and partner while the other nurses examined me.
I was induced at that time. I cried for help because I’m all alone because my mother and partner didn’t allow to enter inside. The pain, the hunger I felt inside was almost killing me but I always think of our baby. At exactly 9 pm I give birth but I fainted and I didn’t know what was going on.
I woke up because the doctor slap me. I asked where is my baby and the doctor didn’t response instead she give me a heavy sigh and it makes me scared .
The nurse brought me to a bed and there I saw my mother crying and I asked her where is the baby all she said is, “Your baby is on the incubator , you can eat so you can see her.”
I noticed that she cried. After that my partner entered too . He hugged me and kissed me but he is also crying. It makes me wonder why?
Until they brought me to the private room and the doctor said that I need an oxygen because my heart is weak. I wonder where my baby is, I thought they are hiding it to me.
My mother went to the comfort room and my cellphone beep and I read i . That’s the moment that my entire world was shaking. It was the nightmare of my life .
The message said: “We already buried the baby.”
I can’t move. I can’t speak. I didn’t cry. I felt numb. I throw my phone. They hid it from me that the baby already died at my tummy when we are still at the center. They can’t find the heartbeat.
All along, I thought I can see her. I thought I can take good care of her but I didn’t know that she already leave me. They hide it because I was critical at that time and my heart can’t take it if ever they told me about what happened.
It was the painful chapter of our life… we lost her . I was not able to save our first born .
Time flies, I almost hurt myself because I can’t take it that I already lost her. Until one day we decide to have another one because I was going crazy and I’m so thankful that I have a partner that is supportive and loving. We pushed through the trials.
And after everything, God give us another blessings.
September 29, 2021, I gave birth to our rainbow baby. And now, we love her so much and we thanked God for everything.
Everything happens for a reason. As long as we trust God, everything will be possible.
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