Coping with the loss of the spouse can be the most difficult ordeal, especially if you have young children. Everyone mourns in their own way, even your children. One little boy whose father passed away sent his dad a “letter to my dad in heaven.” The Royal Mail UK took the time to reply the child, letting him know the letter has been delivered safely.
“Letter to my dad in heaven”
Jase asked Royal Mail to help take this “letter to my dad in heaven” .| Source: Facebook
Jase Hyndman, 7 years old and his sister Neive, 10 years old continued to celebrate their dad’s birthday ever since he died in May 2014.
This year, Jase wrote a letter to his dad. On the envelope, he requested the Royal Mail service to take his letter to heaven for his father’s birthday.
The Royal Mail replied, assuring little Jase that the “letter to my dad in heaven” had arrived to his father James. “This was a difficult challenge avoiding stars and other galactic objects on route to heaven,” wrote Sean Milligan, Assistant Delivery Office Manager of the Royal Mail UK. Milligan also said he will continue to do all he can to ensure future letters will be delivered to heaven safely.
Letter to my dad in heaven: Faith in humanity restored
The official reply from Royal Mail to Jase’s “letter to my dad in heaven” – faith in humanity restored. | Source: Facebook
Jase’s mother Teri Copeland was overjoyed to receive the letter, noting how happy her son was knowing her husband received the card. She told both her children that if they can’t give a present during Christmas it’s good to at least send a card.
Jase kept telling her, “My dad really got my letter, mom!”.
She wants everyone to know that even the smallest gestures of kindness can leave a huge impact on a person’s life.
How to help your child cope with loss of a loved one
Every child copes with a loss of a loved one differently, but its important that you’re there always. Boy writes “letter to my dad in heaven” and unexpectedly gets a reply. | Source: Adobe Stock
Life seems fragile – someone can pass away so suddenly. It’s worse when that someone is family member, or a close friend to the family. Children have their own ways to grieve, and how they cope with the loss is influenced by how old they are, and how close they are to the person.
Here are some tips to help you comfort your child who’s lost someone dear:
Use simple words when talking about death
When you want to tell the heartbreaking news to your child, say it in the most direct and simplest way possible. Speak with utmost care, “I have some sad news to tell you. Your Grandpa passed away.” Give your child some time to absorb the news.
Be a listening ear and comfort your child
Different children will react to sad news in their own way. He or she might ask questions, start to tear up or have absolutely no reaction at all. And any of these reactions are normal. What’s important is you offer hugs and assure your child that things will be okay.
Tell your child what to expect
After getting some time to grieve, you need to notify your child if there will be changes in his or her life. For instance, “Now Uncle will pick you up from school like how Grandpa always does.” This is to alleviate any fears or worries your child might have.
Allow them to join the funeral
Tell your children what funeral, wake, ritual or memorial service will happen, and how they will play a part in them. You may need to explain about cremation. Explain to them that people will say “My condolences” and “I’m sorry for your loss” as it is a kind and respectful thing to say to a family who has lost a loved one. Also explain they need to say thank you, and assure them they can be with you throughout the service. If they want to take part by reading a story about the loved one, playing a song or making something, by all means they can and should do so.
Don’t avoid talking about your loved one
If your child is young, you can encourage him or her to draw or write stories about the happy memories they shared with the loved one who has passed. Remembering these happy memories is one way to grieve and stay positive.
Assure them with comfort if they are sad
Ask about how your child is feeling, and listen. You can tell them that it takes some time to feel better when someone we love dies. Be attentive to their feelings, especially if you see if he or she looks upset, sad or worried. Assure them you will be always there for them.
It’s time to feel better
Listen and comfort your child when he or she opens up to you, but there’s no need to linger over the sad feelings. Try doing things your child likes together, like playing, drawing, or cooking together. Perhaps you can schedule an outdoor activity as a family.
Give time to heal
Keep conversing with your child to find out how he or she is feeling with regards to the lost. Assure them that healing doesn’t mean you will ever forget the lost of that loved one – it means you will always treasure the happy and loving memories you have. And these memories are the ones that will support you through your lifetime.
Source: BBC
Also read: Courageous Caitie’s mom Feliz on healing: “Grief has become my friend”
Republished with permission from The Asian Parent Singapore