For all mothers, losing a child is devastating. But for mothers that lose a twin during their pregnancy, the pain can be much more difficult to bear.
Danielle Schaffer, a mother of four, had to deal with the harsh reality that she not only lost a twin, but also risked losing the other twin should her body recognize the death and expel both the twins.
One of the twins had died
When Danielle and her husband found out that they were having twins, they were ecstatic and looking forward to the new additions to their family. Having suffered through a miscarriage prior to having the twins, the prospect of having twins made Danielle and her husband very excited.
This all changed however, during a routine ultrasound in the middle of her pregnancy. Her ultrasound took a while, and the sonographer left the room to get her doctor. She recounted that tears were flowing down her face since she knew exactly what it meant. Her doctor came back with news that one of the twins had died.
The sad part was that even if one twin had survived, there is still a risk that her body will recognize the death of the other one and she would risk losing the other twin as well.
A guardian angel
The loss was a devastating blow to Danielle and her family. She would have to carry both the twins to full term until both of them can be delivered, and it was very difficult to handle the loss as well as the risk that she might lose the other child.
Thankfully, when the time came to deliver her babies, the other child, who she named Roman, was born healthy. However, their joy was short-lived since the doctors also had to deliver the other twin that they lost. She named the other twin Gabriel, so that he could act as a guardian angel to his brother.
It took a long time for Danielle to cope with Gabriel’s loss, but now she has come to grips with her loss. She hasn’t told Roman about his twin, but she hopes to do so when the time is right. A few years after, Danielle had another son, named Brody, a very welcome blessing to their family.
Coping with loss
Losing a twin during pregnancy is a difficult experience since they both have to deal with the loss of one child whilst being thankful and happy for the other twin.
A lot of parents that go through this experience find it hard to cope with their feelings. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings of sadness and loss so that you can cope better.
If you’re struggling to handle the loss of a twin, or any child for that matter, you can talk to your doctor or midwife to seek counseling or look for groups of parents that know the experience that you’re going through. Losing a child is never easy, but you should know that you’re not alone in your grief.
Sources: Scarymommy, Baby Centre
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