How to cope when you no longer feel sexual desire for your husband

Do you long for the days when your hubby turned you on? Don't despair because this doesn't mean you're in an unhappy marriage!

You no longer recall the last time you saw your husband as desirable. Yes, you love him and you appreciate all the sacrifices he’s made for your family, but why can’t you seem to find the urge to be intimate with him? Where has the passion gone?

Just because your husband does not turn you on like he used to, it doesn’t mean that you should call it quits!

Here’s how to renew your sexual desire, according to relationship coach Arianna Jeret.

1. There is a reason for this loss of desire

Acknowledging the possibility that this is a result of a physiological or emotional reason is the first step in working towards renewing your desire for your husband. Why has the desire faded? Is there emotional disconnectedness or unresolved issues you need to work on?

2. Get intimate in other ways

Communicate. Verbalize your concerns in a loving way. Sure, you may risk bruising his ego, but it’s best to sort things out before you lose the desire completely. Don’t keep secrets from one another! Being in a marriage means being free to express your needs and wants, never forget that.

photo: shutterstock

3. Specify sexual preferences

Once you start communicating, delve into what you would both like to try in the bedroom. Share your fantasies. Take your time and don’t force the connection and desire to happen. As long as the emotional desire–the love and respect–is still there, sexual desire is not that difficult to achieve.

4. Be considerate of his feelings

When telling him what you want from him in bed, be considerate of his emotions, don’t scold him. This is the last thing that can make you both feel in the mood. Know that he might be struggling with feelings of sexual inadequacy, too. So it’s best to be loving towards him.

5. Hot sex doesn’t define a marriage

Don’t base your marital satisfaction solely on how your sex life is doing. There’s more to a marriage than a physical connection. Accept that desire will fade, but it won’t be gone forever!

sources:, The Huffington Post, The Guardian

READ: 5 Expert-approved ways to deal with a partner who’s lost interest in sex