It all started when she saw the first sign: she was getting angry at her child. “I knew I was suffering from depression,” confided Maggie in an interview with PEP, adding that her pregnancy got so difficult that it kept her bedridden.
"Believe me, my entire pregnancy and giving birth, the last six months of having it was not the happiest time in my life,” she lamented. "The first six months of post-baby was tough on me and tough on my marriage as well."
Maggie married Connor’s dad 38-year-old real estate mogul Victor Consunji in 2010.
"The first six months of post-baby was tough on me and tough on my marriage as well."
After giving birth, her main cause of frustration was her persistently low breast milk supply.
"I was one of those moms who unfortunately didn't have enough milk to breastfeed. That's why, I'm also difficult on myself because moms can be very judgey here in the Philippines when you don't breastfeed," lamented Maggie, adding that she had to do mixed feeding.
"I've done everything, you know, to be able to try to, but if it’s genetically, it's just impossible for me,” explained Maggie. Despite this, she strived to breastfeed Connor for the first three months.
"Nothing will truly prepare you for motherhood."
Recalling the first few weeks as a new mom, she says that the reality is that is not pure bliss, unlike what many describe it to be.
"You know they say, 'Oh, the moment you see your baby, you're gonna forget all that.' That's BS [b*llsh*t], that's a lie,” Maggie, who was 23 when she gave birth, said. "So whenever I have a friend that is pregnant, they ask me what they should expect, I give it to them."
"Because I don't want them to say, 'You lied to me, you told me that after I see my child, it's gonna be you know, all nice and butterflies, and unicorns, no.' That's the reality of being a mom," she continued, adding just how much she underestimated how stressful having a baby could be.
"I knew what I was getting myself into. I've read so many books on how to be a mom, how to take care of a baby, but nothing will ever truly prepare you for motherhood,” she went on.
Finding strength to be a parent through her own
Through it all, she found a confidante in her dad even though he lives in Saudi Arabia with Maggie’s mom.
"I called my dad, because I'm closer with my dad, crying,” she recalled. "And then he called my mom, he was like, 'You need to go home now because Maggie and Victor will kill each other.'"
She credits her mom Sonia for helping her through what she later realized was postpartum depression.
It turned out all she needed was time to herself, to regroup and get out of the cycle of sadness.
Her mom gave her three weeks where she would take care of her grandson, allowing Maggie to have time for herself.
"She would take Connor from me for a few hours, just so I would have quiet time, sort of get back to myself,” Maggie recounted.
Now, five years later, Maggie proudly shared that her son Connor is growing up to be "such a good boy" who doesn’t "scream, spit, scratch, and throws tantrums."
"Super lucky, super proud to have a son like him," marveled Maggie.
READ: “I wanted to die in the first few seconds of breastfeeding my baby”
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