When your spouse wants to call it quits, what do you say to get them to stay? Here are a few things to consider
Being in an unhappy marriage can leave you feeling hopeless, frustrated, and disappointed—in both your partner and yourself. It can cause you to give up and just call it quits, but what if you still have it in you to fight for what you have?
What if you still believe you can make things work, but your partner seems to have given up hope? How can you convince your partner that your love is still worth fighting for? For starters, begging or pleading with them usually does not do any good. It’s best to remain calm and to approach the situation in a strategic manner.
Depending on your situation, here are ways to help your unhappy partner choose to stay in your relationship.
1. Ask for an extension
Ask your partner for six months to a year. If nothing changes, then you can explore the possibility of parting on good terms, knowing that you have both tried your best to work things out. Offering them this option can help make them feel less trapped. It can also reassure them that you remain level headed and want to sort things out within a realistic timeline.
2. Show them you’re still committed
Be specific when saying what issues you need to move past without making them feel judged. If it’s problems with forgiveness, tell them you will commit yourself to the healing process. If it’s unfaithfulness on your part, show them how intent you are on changing.
3. Exhaust all resources
When your partner has had enough, tell them that you have not fully exerted enough effort or tapped those who could possibly help you. Help them see that throwing in the towel without getting the help of trusted family and friends first is not a smart move. 4. Own up to mistakes
Being committed often requires humbling yourself to accept responsibility to your mistakes. The root of a lot of resentment in marriage can often be traced to a simple lack of accountability. If this is the main reason why you think your partner is no longer satisfied in your relationship, then it’s time to break this pattern and own up to it, so you can move towards togetherness.
5. Realign priorities
Often, the problem lies in letting your relationship take the backseat. It’s not that you’re no longer happy, you just have not given enough time and effort to allow yourself to care. Make marriage—and the necessary work that will go into it—a priority again if it hasn’t been for a while now. This way, you will see life and approach situations with a renewed sense of purpose, valuing your relationship in a way you haven’t for a long time.
All the years you have invested in one another should count for something, even if it’s just giving things a shot.