For the past four years that they've been married, actress Maricar Reyes Poon and singer Richard Poon seem to have learned a lot and they want to share their wisdom with fellow couples.
Following the release of their book, 10 Things We Fight About, the couple shared some insight on resolving conflict in marriage in an interview with ANC's Headstart.
One of the things couples fight most often about, according to the Poons, is when one or both start raising their voice.
When asked whether or not they have cursed during a fight, the couple both admitted to doing so on more than one occasion. However, Maricar clarifies, it's usually because they get overly emotional.
"When your emotion is high, it happens. But it shouldn't be encouraged," says the 36-year-old actress who is also a licensed doctor.
Maricar Reyes Poon: Raising your voice is not the answer
But both Maricar and Richard believe that raising your voice when arguing with your spouse is a no-no, even if you believe you're right.
"Don’t raise your voice, even if you’re correct," continues Maricar. "If you feel you're right, you feel you have the right to say it in whatever way you want."
Richard then shared a "T sign" tactic they developed, where they would form a T with their hands to signal that they need a time out during a heated argument.
"We made it for her kasi she's non-confrontational, mabait siya. Ako naman, yan ang family background ko. Kapag tama kami, we can go ballistic. So I have to protect her kasi pag walang T sign, tuloy-tuloy lang ako," confided Richard, recalling how it can get so difficult to control himself when he's getting emotional, too. But, he says, he knows this signal is there to protect his wife. "If you really value your spouse, kailangan stop ka talaga."
"If you really value your spouse, kailangan stop ka talaga."
How do they handle financial issues?
In the same interview, the couple also shared how they manage finances.
Their strategy? The more money savvy one manages their joint bank account.
In their case, it's Richard who's in charge of it. Not because he's the husband, they want to make clear, but because he's simply better at it.
Richard, who still encourages Maricar Reyes Poon to her own savings account, believes it's important for women to maintain their financial independence even when married.
"Marami akong stories na naririnig na women are unhappy with their marriages, alam nilang may babae 'yung asawa nila, but they cannot leave because wala silang trabaho," he shared, adding how he doesn't want Maricar to feel pressured to stay with him just because she's dependent on him. "So your money is yours; my money is yours."
They also had some money issues when Maricar kept lending money
Aside from budgeting, they had to deal with money issues when Maricar kept lending to a certain person. Richard recalls being upset, wanting to put his foot down, just to stop her from lending too often. Maricar credits her husband for teaching her how to be better at handling finances.
"I did not think about it that way, na you're actually not helping the person you're lending money to," she opened up, "You're enabling them to continue to the bad money habit that they're having, you're bringing them to come to you all the time."
Though they don't really stop one another from buying what they want or enjoying their hard earned money, they do need to discuss major purchases.
"Mayroon kaming family rule na lahat ng major purchases, kailangang agreed. 'Pag hindi siya nag-agree sa gusto ko, hindi ko rin bibilhin," explained Richard. "Yan ang kailangang i-discuss because marriage is a union of two people being one, you're trying to be one."
READ: Is it a good idea to go into business with your spouse?
sources: ABS-CBN news, ANC