Losing your child in your womb is undoubtedly one of the most painful things a woman can experience. Read this mom’s story on having a miscarriage due to ectopic pregnancy, acceptance, and finding hope.
What can you read in this article?
- Losing her first pregnancy because of ectopic pregnancy
- Dealing with loss as a couple
- An unexpected blessing after all the heartaches
Almost one year into our marriage, my husband, Justin and I were all over the moon upon finding out that we were expecting. A pregnancy test showing two red lines has finally made our dream of becoming parents come true. We hugged, we cried buckets of joyful tears and we couldn’t find the exact words to describe how overwhelming that moment was.
Early miscarriage due to ectopic pregnancy
January 7, 2017 – it was just like any ordinary Saturday morning except that we were scheduled to see our doctor that day to further confirm our pregnancy.
We entered the doctor’s clinic with all smiles, filled out some forms, and waited for my name to be called. After a while, I heard the nurse saying, “Mrs. Rebolledo, please follow me to the ultrasound room”.
It was the most nerve-wracking moment of my life since I was a first-time mom back then without any idea on what to expect regarding the procedure/s that will be done on me.
Justin accompanied me inside the room and while I was lying down, I could also feel his throbbing heartbeat as he held my hand close to his chest.
Image from iStock
As soon as the sonologist inserted the transducer on me, a black and empty screen showed up, clear of any fetal image whatsoever. She tried positioning it at different angles but to no avail. Few minutes have passed and I was already sensing that something was wrong. It was until the doctor declared,
“I’m very sorry but this is a suspected case of ectopic pregnancy.”
Justin and I couldn’t believe what we just heard. We were stunned and at a loss for words. In my mind, I know what an ectopic pregnancy is.
And while I was inconsolable after the ultrasound, Justin remained strong and composed. I saw how hard he tried to show me that everything will be okay while he must have also been struggling to set aside his emotions at the same time.
Our OB explained to us what happened and the process that I need to undergo to remove the fetus, who, at that time was around six weeks old.
A series of medical management treatments were scheduled on a weekly basis wherein medicines have to be injected on me so the fetus will be dissolved and pass out naturally.
We thought that it was the end of our ordeal. But we never realized that it was just the beginning.
The emergency procedure
In the wee hours of February 3, 2017, I suddenly woke up in extreme lower abdominal pain and was having a hard time breathing. Justin rushed to our medicine box to look for a pain reliever but I told him to bring me to the hospital instead.
I remember I didn’t finish talking because I fainted already. He said I was unconscious for a while that’s why he decided to call for an ambulance right away.
While waiting for the help to arrive, he said he was praying hard that I go back to my senses and wake up. I think his prayer was the same reason why God allowed me to regain my consciousness because, at that time, I believe it was Justin’s voice that I heard saying,
“Please don’t go, stay with me.”
The medics team of QC LGU rushed me to the nearest hospital. Though my vision was already blurred, my mind was still very clear and aware of what’s happening around me. Upon entering the ER, they immediately checked my vital signs, did some interviews with Justin, and jotted down notes.
They told me that I was very pale with purplish lips and my body was already cold. They could not find pulses in both my wrist and neck, which they, later on, found somewhere near the ankle of my right foot. My blood pressure dropped to 50 over an unidentified value.
The ER doctor immediately ordered me to prepare the operating room because they were suspecting that I was already having an internal hemorrhage and needed an urgent operation. Lo and behold, they found my right fallopian tube ruptured and I was already losing 1.5 liters of blood!
Based on my clinical discharge summary, the operation was called total salpingectomy wherein they had to cut and remove the ruptured tube. It appeared that the medical management treatment did not work on me and the embryo still continued to grow until such time that the fallopian tube couldn’t hold the embryo’s size anymore.
Dealing with loss together
Days after the operation, the doctors cleared me for discharge and was advised to just rest and recover at home. At first, I thought I have gotten over having a miscarriage due to ectopic pregnancy. I thought I had moved on, but it turns out I have not.
Each passing day felt heavier than the one gone by. I hate seeing photos of newborn babies and pregnant moms on social media, I tried avoiding going out because I didn’t want to encounter kids or moms carrying their little ones.
And I started wondering how come they can get pregnant and bear a child while here I am, believing that my body is healthy and capable too but can’t even have one.
It came to a point that I almost wanted to question God. But my husband remained so patient with me, trying to absorb all my animosities and pain. He would always listen to my rants and just allow me to let it all out.
He never got tired of holding my hand at night so we could pray together. It has become a habit to regularly attend “The Feast” by Brother Bo Sanchez every Sunday at PICC and join care groups to share our experiences with other people and listen to theirs too.
Image from iStock
Through constant and fervent praying, support from care groups, family, friends, and my husband’s unconditional patience, love and understanding, I just felt that things have become incredibly lighter and easier to bear. Until one day, I began to realize that getting over this painful loss requires acceptance, faith, and hope.
Acceptance that God has a very promising reason why He allowed unfortunate events to happen in your life. Faith, that He will replace and restore everything that you’ve lost in His best and perfect time. And hope that will help you look forward to God’s promise because He is faithful to those who believe in Him.
Little by little, I started to see things from a different perspective. I joined different mommy groups in social media who were also struggling to accept their fate on fetal death, miscarriage due to ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth and so much more.
I may not know if I have helped them in any way but at least in my heart, I know that I tried to be there for them with the hopes to inspire and give words of advice at the time that they needed it most.
Image from iStock
My rainbow baby: A mother’s story of loss, hope, and new beginnings
Iba’t ibang uri ng miscarriage at paano maiiwasan ito
Heart Evangelista recalls miscarriage, “worst day of my life”
“God has heard” and “God has healed”
And true enough, God is undoubtedly a caring, faithful and loving God.
One morning, while decluttering my stuff, I saw a spare pregnancy test in the cabinet. During that time, I thought that it would be a waste of money if I will just throw it away so I’d rather use it instead.
Little did I know that the happiest blessing in our married life will come to us at that very moment. Surprisingly, the pregnancy test turned out positive!
A lot of good things have happened since then. We eventually heard our baby’s first heartbeat, determined his gender, had a very smooth pregnancy and the rest is history.
Our rainbow baby was named Jaden Rafael, following the initials of his daddy – J & R. We carefully chose his name to reflect how our lives were transformed beautifully. Jaden means “God has heard” while Rafael means “God has healed.”
His arrival was like an answered prayer that brought us complete healing from all the pain and heartaches.
Right now, Justin and I are firm believers of these Bible verses and we would like to inspire others to live by it too:
“I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord” -Isaiah 66:9
“When the time is right, I the Lord will make it happen” -Isaiah 60:22