A few days ago, Bee Shapiro, a columnist for The New York Times, published an article called “Mom Hair: It Exists. Now What To Do About It.“
In the article, the fashion/style blogger discusses a new and discouraging trend among new moms: cutting their hair after giving birth. Furthermore, the audacious article uses testimonies from hair stylists in New York who are claiming that these moms look bad after cutting their hair. One stylist, Juan Carlos Maciques, said that moms cutting their hair that soon after pregnancy is “a big mistake”.
Here’s a look at the harsh words this hair stylist had for new moms:
“The first thing new moms want to do is cut their hair off. They’re feeling lousy about their bodies, and they just want to get some sense of self again.”
Maciques added, “It’s not just your hair that’s changing. Your body is, too. You might not be at the weight you really want to be yet. And the truth is, long hair can be a little bit of a distraction. When you go short, you are more exposed. There’s less, literally, to hide behind.”
Yes, that’s right, moms. A MAN is saying these things about a new mother and her choice of hairstyle. As if he had any chance of empathising.
If you’re feeling a bit indignant about this male hair stylist’s statements, you’re not alone. Ashlee Gold, a proud mother and writer/photographer for The Huffington Post felt particularly spurned by the article, going as far to call the content “idiotic”.
In her post, she counters the article and its cruel statements in her own article in which the aggrieved mother writes:
“Here’s a thought. Hey new moms: wear your hair however the hell you want to. Your body carried a human being; it stretched and changed and transformed into an actual home for an actual child. You do not need to distract the world from that feat with mermaid hair or anything else.”
“You are a warrior,” she continues. “You are beautiful.”
Clearly, the concept of a male hair stylist critiquing new mothers for their personal choices didn’t sit well with this mommy. And, honestly…can you blame her? A hair stylist may know the trick of the trade, but he can never experience pregnancy or postpartum. To hear him suggest things like, “Ideally, you’d start planning while you’re still pregnant,” can leave an unpleasant feeling with mothers.
Ashlee Gold is one of the unpleased mothers. Check out her brilliant, and inspiring counter response to the article by clicking next!
When I am pregnant, and struggling with insomnia, heartburn, incessant peeing, back pain, leg pain, and the myriad of emotional and hormonal internal battles, let me assure you: I am totally thinking about my hair.
Oh wait. I’m not. Do you know what I’m thinking about when I’m pregnant? I’m wondering if my baby is okay in there. I’m thinking about childbirth, and how much it’s going to hurt, and how my lady parts are going to be affected. I’m thinking about adding a child to our family, and what that means for my marriage and my career and my home and my heart and my soul. I’m thinking about breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. And snacks. I’m thinking about sleep, and college funds, and baby toes, and the next eighteen years (and beyond) of holy work and sacrificial love I am going to pour into this child. I am thinking about how grateful I am for this baby, and how terrified I am, and how wonderfully hard this is all going to be.
Do you know what I’m not thinking about when I’m pregnant? Taking care of my hair once the baby comes.
Call me crazy, but when I get home from the hospital, I’m a little more concerned with taking care of the baby.
And while I’m taking care of that baby, and not sleeping, and adjusting to my new porn star sized boobs, I can assure you, male hair stylist, that if and when I feel like styling my hair/coloring my hair/cutting my hair, I am going to do what makes mefeel good about myself. Because my pants still don’t fit right, and my boobs are leaking, and I’m working on 4.5 hours of interrupted sleep — so pardon me while I disregard your generalized opinions and choose a hairstyle that makes me feel confident.
New mommas, listen carefully: you do you. You cut your hair short, wear it long, tie it back, throw it up, straighten it, curl it, color it, highlight it, make dreadlocks, tease it up, slick it down, get bangs, cut layers, add extensions, wash it, don’t wash it; I don’t give a crap.
Your beauty and identity cannot, are not, and will never be defined by a stupid haircut.
And as for you, Mr. Maciques, I certainly hope male pattern baldness doesn’t accost you later in life, lest you lose any self-worth along with your luscious locks.
You can read Ashlee Gold’s full article by visiting her blog or The Huffington Post
READ: “Just hang in there”: Mom writes open letter to new moms
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