On a cold Friday morning, as my 6-year-old was dressing up for school, she asked me, “Mommy, what is health insurance?”
I wondered how she got to know this word. Although my husband and I did discuss health insurance in the last few days, we made sure we spoke privately. I remember my daughter reading a book while we discussed in another room.
But look at the grasping power of this child, she must have vaguely heard us and registered the word in her mind. Her asking me did not really shock me because the word was neither fowl nor something that had to not be told about if asked.
But had it been something she shouldn’t know at this age, it would really worry me. I did answer to her. I explained the meaning of health insurance in the words she could understand.
In the daily routine, there are many instances where either a parent or both of them discuss something that should not be told to a child, or even a telephonic conversation. This is why you must think before you speak in front of your kids.
Think before you speak in front of your kids!!!
Parents are not aware and they think that the child is busy with something and she is not listening to our talks. The child may be watching TV, reading a book, playing with her friend, or playing with toys.
But what we forget is that a child is very sensitive and observant, and even though consciously she may not hear, some things get unconsciously registered in the mind of a child. It may be positive or negative.
While am sure, you must be making sure that you think before you speak in front of your kids, sometimes it happens unconsciously.
Even simple things like how we talk about our domestic help or staff at home make a difference. Children observe our body language, facial expressions, our tone and our words, and behave the way parents behave. Children see parents as mentors and want to be like them.
In my case, once my husband and I did have an argument in front of my daughter, and I did notice the change in her behaviour. She was quiet and looked very concerned.
I knew I had to make up for it. I explained to her how people have different views and this is very temporary. And from then onwards, we have made sure that this is not repeated and especially when my daughter is around.
When parents argue or fight in front of children, it affects the children mentally, physically, emotionally and socially. What we talk becomes their language too.
If we address them with respect, they do the same with us and the other people in the society. As parents, therefore we should always think before you speak in front of your kids if we want to raise them right.
How you talk to your children matters
It is of utmost important how we speak to each other and our children. We have to be careful with our words. If we speak with respect so does the child do, and vice versa.
All these characteristics play an important role in the upbringing of a child. As an adult, the child is more positive, with immense self-confidence and self-esteem.
It doesn’t take much effort to up bring a child with positivity, whatever situation you are in. Our language should be positive, and happy.
Avoiding negative words
A recent study says that infants as young as 15-months-old are easily able to understand when adults are angry and attempt to appease them
If your child does not listen to you, don’t get irritated. Handle the situation with a lot of patience. Follow these tips:
- Saying positive words like ‘You always listen to me’ instead of ‘I know you never listen to me’ makes a lot of difference in how the child behaves.
- The child perceives and acts in the same manner we talk. Negative words such as ‘no, never, don’t, you can’t, should be avoided while talking to children.
- When we want children to behave in a particular way or when we want a child to improve, SLEEP TALKING to a child is very beneficial.
- When a child has just slept off, and her mind is in a subconscious state, we can talk to her. Whatever we talk gets registered in her mind.
- Always remember to phrase it positively, rather than negatively.
- Don’t dictate or focus on what you want. Say as if it is true, and in the present tense. I have tried this since the day my daughter was born, and it has worked wonderfully on my relationship with her.
Children are our reflection. All of us definitely wish our children to grow up as respectable adults with acceptance in the society. Let’s do our best to give them the best.
Republished with permission from: The Indus Parent
Also read: Stop your child’s aggressive behavior with these anger management tips!