It was one fine rainy day on October 10, 2020, amid the pandemic, when I received one of the best yet most challenging blessings. It was just my mom and me at home because my then-boyfriend, now my husband, was out of the country for work after staying in the country for months because of the pandemic.
Around 4:45 am when I went to pee in the comfort room. Our home was a small unit 2-story house, and I had to go down to get to the toilet. After getting back, my water broke when I reached the top of the stairs. There was no pain, just sticky water splashing from me to the bottom of the stairs. I screamed “Mama” from the top of my lungs and panicked, not knowing what to do. We called a Tito living a block away, who immediately knocked on the gate a few minutes after, ready to drive for us anytime.
Rushing to the lying-in
My Mama and I just changed clothes, and without breakfast or anything, we grabbed the hospital bag and went. At 5:00 am, we have already arrived at the lying-in. Tito had to drop by and leave us there because of the protocol. One guardian only per patient is allowed.
After filling up forms and passing the necessary papers and documents, the midwife checked me, and it turned out I wasn’t even dilated yet. I was told to rest and wait then.
At 6:00 am, my mom had to go out to buy some supplies and brought me breakfast when she got back. I was left alone on my bed, and the midwife gave IV fluids. When my mom returned, she told me to eat, but I had no appetite. Due to my mom’s persuasion, I was forced to eat two medium-boiled eggs and drink 250ml water.
At 8:00 am, the midwife did an internal examination (IE) on me again and said I was 2cm dilated. She told me not to eat or drink anything and just ready myself. She had given me a capsule called Primrose that helps ripen the cervix for labor.
At 9:00 am, I started feeling the pain that lasted a minute every 10mins. My mother comforted me by telling her labor stories and how she carried on with it in her time, just with hilot in the province and no nice air-conditioned rooms or soft beds, or even anything I had during my time.
The pain that I felt
My mom’s stories had toughened my willpower but do not ease the pain. Every now and then, I felt an unexplainable excruciating pain in my belly, pelvis, and lower spine.
At 10 am, the pain interval I felt went from every 10mins to every 5mins. The midwife checked on me again and said I was still 2cm dilated and to call her if I felt the pain more often. My mom told me to tell her if I feel like I’m about to poo.
I go to different positions, like kneeling on the bed, swaying, and many things I can’t remember. I hold in my hand a rosary while praying to the Gods the prayers I know of while I’m sweating cold. When my baby’s dad called via video call, I couldn’t hold back a single tear from falling because of the pain I felt though I tried so much not to.
At 11:15 am, I told my mom I felt like I was about to poo. She called the midwife, who got so surprised upon knowing that I was already fully dilated only a few minutes after she last checked. They brought me to the delivery room. My doctor, the obstetrician-gynecologist, wasn’t at the lying-in then, and they still had to call her. Two midwives had held me down to the bed, trying to make me feel calm, while I screamed so hard because I couldn’t take the pain. One held my baby’s head from below because they said that firstborns should be delivered by OBs only, and the other held my limbs.
Birth story
When the doctor arrived 30mins after, she took 5mins to get on her PPEs and everything. When she told me to push, she caught my baby after two deep breaths at exactly 11:58 am. I felt all my energy leave my body along with my baby. She put my baby in my belly while cutting his umbilical cord. And there I feel him, my tiny, fragile little angel. He’s a healthy baby boy and weighed 2.5 kg upon birth. And while I hold his small hands, I cannot explain my feeling, like my heart is full.
The doctor had cleaned and stitched me up, and I felt everything even though I was tired and almost numb. They let me rest and told me not to eat or drink for the next four hours.
Image from Shutterstock
Looking back
What pains me most during my delivery is that no one had to carry me back to the recovery room. I had never felt so drained in my entire life more than that walk from the delivery to the recovery room, where every step felt like I was falling. Looking back, I felt so proud of my courage and strength I never knew I had until I got through and carry on that fateful day. I didn’t know what to expect or what to do, but I’m glad that even though I am not perfect, I am learning every day.
The midwife had taught me how to breastfeed my baby. I got discharged from the lying in 24hrs after but still had to go back 3x a day for the next 5 days because my baby had to get shots. They said my baby needed antibiotics since he’s been out of fluids for several hours inside the placenta before coming out. It’s a daily struggle but a sacrifice we had to make.