Is it okay to let your maid or yaya to discipline your kids? If yes, how much is too much?
Most moms seem to be divided on this issue. Some feel that it’s appropriate to give the maids the right to discipline the kids, considering that children these days do spend majority of time with their helpers. While others were strictly against the idea.
Dr Lim Boon Leng, psychiatrist from Dr BL Lim Centre for Psychological Wellness, feels that it is okay to let the maid have some control over the kids. He has been quoted by Channel NewsAsia as saying, “A lack of discipline will likely affect the conduct and behaviour of the child in a negative way. They may be ill disciplined, rude and unruly given the lack of supervision and discipline.”
However, he feels that it is important that parents set boundaries for their maids, “Helpers should not be tasked to use corporal punishments, as the line between that and physical abuse is a thin one.”
“The helper can mete out non-physical consequences, verbal warnings and reprimands where appropriate and carry out positive aspects of parenting like praising good behavior and rewarding. Parents should be the ones who predetermined these and train the helper to be their surrogate.”
However, Mr Brian Poh, clinical psychologist at the Institute of Mental Health’s department disagrees with handing over the reins of discipline to the helper. He tells Channel NewsAsia, “The roles of parenting and disciplining the child should ultimately be that of the parents. The domestic helper will eventually leave one day, and she is not a permanent figure in the child’s life.
“Her role, as the name implies, is a ‘helper’, and not as a main disciplinarian.”
“Due to cultural or societal differences, she might also have different values or ideas about the methods to discipline a child, and what constitutes an appropriate or inappropriate behaviour.”
We wanted to know what moms thought about this issue, here are some of the responses we got:
And now, it’s your turn, mms and dads, what is YOUR point of view? Is it okay to let your maid discipline your kids? Let us know in the poll below:
Source: Channel NewsAsia
Republished with permission from: theAsianParent Singapore
Also read:
Should you discipline someone else’s child?
Dad and mom discipline: Is there a difference in raising your child?