Open Letter to Family & Friends: "Yes, I’m Having Another Girl, and She’s Perfect!"

Read this article in Tagalog.

As I prepare to welcome my second baby girl into the world, I find myself reflecting on the often-enthusiastic yet sometimes disheartening comments that accompany this joyful news. “I hope this one is a boy,” some say, while others casually throw in, “Maybe third time’s the charm,” suggesting that perhaps a third child might finally bring the son everyone seems to desire. While I appreciate the enthusiasm surrounding my growing family, I feel compelled to express how these sentiments can resonate in unexpected ways, shaping perceptions that I wish to challenge.

Every Child is a Unique Gift

Every child is a precious individual, deserving of love and acceptance just as they are. My first daughter is an absolute treasure in my life, and my second girl is already perfect in my eyes. The narrative surrounding gender often overshadows the unique personalities and limitless potential of our children. Instead of hoping for a specific gender, let us celebrate the individuality of every child. Each girl brings her own strengths, dreams, and character traits that contribute to the rich tapestry of our lives.

The History of Gender Expectations

Mahalagang pag-usapan ang kasaysayan kung saan nagmula ang mga inaasahan sa gender, partikular na ang pagkakaroon ng anak na lalaki. Sa maraming kultura, ang mga lalaki ay tradisyonal na itinuturing na tagapagmana ng yaman at pangalan ng pamilya. Sila ang inaasahang magpatuloy ng linya ng pamilya at maging mga tagapagtanggol ng kanilang mga magulang sa katandaan. Sa mga nakaraang dekada, lalo na sa mga patriarchal societies, ang pagkakaroon ng anak na lalaki ay nagdala ng mas mataas na prestihiyo, kaya’t nagiging sanhi ito ng matinding pressure sa mga magulang. Ang ganitong pananaw ay nakaugat sa mga lumang kaugalian na nagsasabing ang pamilya ay hindi buo kung walang anak na lalaki.

The Power of Words

Language shapes our perceptions. When we express disappointment over a child’s gender, we risk sending the message that their worth is tied to societal expectations. Such sentiments can be particularly painful during the vulnerable period of pregnancy, when anticipation and excitement should take center stage. Remarks about a potential third child can create an environment of pressure, diverting attention from the joyous moments of welcoming a new life. The words we choose matter—they can uplift or diminish, inspire or discourage.

The Problem with Gender Reveals: Challenging Gender Norms

In a world that often prioritizes the notion of a “perfect” family, it is crucial to challenge outdated gender norms. Girls are powerful, resilient, and capable of achieving greatness. Rather than adhering to stereotypes, let us encourage our daughters to embrace their identities, talents, and dreams. The value of a child should never be measured by their gender.

It is a common belief that a family is incomplete without one of each gender, but this notion is fundamentally flawed. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and each one is complete just as it is. A married couple alone is a family; a family with only one child is complete; families with all daughters or all sons are also whole. Love, support, and connection are what truly make a family, not the specific combination of genders.

A Call for Empathy and Support

As I navigate this journey of motherhood, I urge friends and family to reflect on the impact of their words. Supportive dialogue enriches our experiences and strengthens our bonds far more than commentary rooted in judgment or expectation. Let’s focus on nurturing our children’s interests and fostering an atmosphere where they feel empowered to be themselves, free to pursue their passions and explore their individuality.

A Message to Fellow Moms

To all the moms out there—whether you’re welcoming daughters or sons—know that you are not alone in facing societal pressures regarding your children’s gender. The feelings of expectation and disappointment can weigh heavily on any parent, regardless of whether you have a girl or a boy. Let’s lift each other up and create a community that embraces every child for who they are, not for who society thinks they should be. Together, we can foster a more inclusive environment for all our children, encouraging them to thrive without the weight of preconceived notions. Remember, the love we have for our children should be the only expectation that matters.

In Conclusion

As I eagerly await the arrival of my second daughter, I ask for your understanding and support. Let’s shift the conversation from gender preferences to celebrating the remarkable individuals that our children will become. Together, we can create a world that embraces every child for who they are, rather than what we wish them to be.