When you first uttered the words, "I am gay" I felt you were freed. But I, too, was given a sort of freedom. I was finally free to love you fully---the real you.
I still remember the day you came out to me. I was a ball of nerves as soon as you looked me in the eye and said, “Ma, I’m gay.”
I was overwhelmed, but I wasn’t surprised. I guess I always knew. There’s this thing that mothers do–this knowing thing–that surpasses understanding. I guess my love for you trumps any secret you try to keep.
You never needed to hide.
There is nothing to be ashamed of, my beautiful child.
When you first uttered the words, “I am gay” I felt you were freed. But I, too, was given a sort of freedom. I was finally free to love you fully—the real you.
Now you’ve found someone to love. Someone to share your beauty and light with. It’s the most any parent could ask. To know you will be safe and valued is a joy I can’t describe. You deserve all of this and more.
As you begin your life together with the lucky man you call your partner in life, I can only wish that you find in him a companion and confidante who won’t falter. Someone who’ll love your flaws which, as a mom, I sincerely think are beautiful.
There will be judgement. Living your truth can mean battling small-mindedness. Don’t make yourself small for them. Don’t shrink back. Shine brighter. Love fiercer.
Know that I love you and that sometimes “someone’s good opinion is more insulting than their approval.”
You can’t please everyone because not everyone is worth pleasing. I hope you keep living with love, passion, and purpose, knowing that whatever happens, even if the world turns its back on you, even if your partner stops loving you, I always will.
*this letter was sent to theAsianparent by the proud mom of a gay son Dolly Anne Carvajal
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