The ideal father-daughter relationship is built on trust and mutual respect, but in many cases, it isn’t. The overprotective father, for example, is often celebrated. We think it’s admirable, and even “cute”, when a dad goes to great lengths to protect the “purity” of their daughters. Just last week, a Georgia dad uploaded a video of himself brutally trashing his daughter’s Audi with a digger. Why? He caught her fooling around with a boy in it. Bizarrely, the Internet cheered him on.
We’re not saying that being protective of our children is inherently bad. There are plenty of things that we should protect our daughters from. But overprotective fathers can actually do more harm than good. Here are some reasons how.
1. They teach them that their bodies are not their own.
The dad on the right’s actually pretty awesome (Photo: Imgur)
Yes, sexual assault and violence is a problem, and is something that parents should be legitimately worried about. But most overprotective fathers are fixated not on preventing sexual assault, but from keeping their daughters from consensual sex, or even non-sexual romantic relationships. By telling their daughters what they can and can’t do with their bodies, and that their worth is hinged on their “purity,” overprotective dads teach girls that their sexuality isn’t normal, and that they have no agency over it.
2. They teach girls that they can’t make their own decisions.
By teaching our daughters that they cannot be trusted to make decisions, overprotective dads crush their child’s confidence. They teach them not to take risks. Yes, your child could make mistakes and get hurt. But the thing is, taking risks can be incredibly rewarding. And even if your child makes a mistake, they can always learn from the experience.
Click to the next page to read about how else overprotective dads harm their daughters.
3. Daughters of overprotective parents are more likely to rebel.
This doesn’t just apply to girls, but having an overprotective dad usually makes their child more likely to act out when the right opportunity presents itself. Instead of forbidding daughters from certain activities, open communication, healthy conversation, and respect can be more effective in fostering good behavior.
4. Their daughters might have sex earlier.
Here’s a curious statistic: absent fathers increase the risk for unsafe sex and teen pregnancy, but overprotective fathers also have the same effect. This is probably because overprotective dads are less likely to talk to their child about healthy and responsible dating, as they’re averse to even just the idea of their daughters going on a date.
Photo: GIFSec.com
5. They give a skewed idea of what men are like.
Dads are their daughters’ introduction to men and masculinity, and will be—for better or for worse—the benchmark for all other men in her life. But overprotective dads often paint guys as monsters. Who hasn’t heard that saying “guys only want one thing from girls”? By repeating this message over and over again—either verbally or indirectly—these dads teach their daughters to be fearful of men, preventing them from having healthy relationships with the opposite sex. And when dads project an image of masculinity that is restraining and controlling, this will be the kind of behavior that girls can expect from other men as well.
READ: Can being an overprotective parent be harmful to your kids?
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