Moms shares a key ingredient to building a stronger parent-children relationship

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• Mom shares a key ingredient to have a strong parent-children relationship

My childhood days

I was sitting in a dark room where the only source of light comes from a thin candle whose flame sway right here and there as the strong wind enters the side of the windows which was obviously left undone.

And, I can clearly hear the sound of the raindrops from the window opening, I momentarily stopped and stare at my younger brother sleeping like a baby not so far from where I was sitting and wish I could just sleep like him.

In our province, the electrical power is unstable. There were more days where we have to lit a candle than enjoy the incandescent bulbs that my father bought.

Tonight is no different. It’s dark and raining. Tomorrow I’m having our 4th grading periodical examination and I have to make a final review so here I am begging that the candle will stay up until I finish the last lines that I was reading.

I want to make it to the top. Again. Yes. I am a competitive pupil and despite the scarcity of life, I refuse to give up and use it rather as an inspiration to get a good education.

The legacy of parents

Many years later these scenes are still vivid in my memories. I can still recall all the exact details. Both my parents didn’t have a degree. They were still young when they had me. At a young age, my parents instilled in me the value of education.

I am a living legacy of how they strived so hard in life to give their children a better future by securing our education using scarcity in life as a ladder to change our life for the better.

When I became a parent, I know exactly what I want. Just like all parents, I vowed to be hands-on in all my children’s affairs. My parents were my role model after all. I see myself as the mom who brings and fetches their kids from school. I look forward to these moments and can’t wait for my firstborn to start nursery.

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The moment I became a parent – a mom

That day came. My son was excited with his new bag and set of school uniforms. Everything was what I imagined it to be except that I was not there for him. The day he started his first day at school where I was supposed to cheer him up as he’s having tantrums of meeting new faces, I wasn’t there.

See? I planned it my whole life and yet here I am working overseas securing for their future. My second-born was only a year old when I and my husband left for Saudi Arabia.

That hits me so bad. I should be there for them in their growing years but we were left with few choices and working overseas was the better option for us at that time.

Working abroad has helped us financially but the emotional guilt of raising two children while you’re away is taking a toll on me. Absentee parents we are and although we have made all efforts to let our children feel our presence even in our absence, I know it could never be enough.

No amount of things can replace us in their lives. Then I know I have to make a decision. I’m going home and it was the best decision I have ever made in my life.

The key to having a strong parent-children relationship in my experience

I regained my place in their lives,  reclaimed my position as their mother, rebuild the dreams I had as a new mom of wanting to be there for my children every step of the way and education is one of the ways we’re we jive and bond so much.

I was away for seven years and fitting back into their lives wasn’t that easy, and have to figure out how to get closer to them without forcing myself too much because I fear they might not reciprocate the same eagerness.

Both my children are competitive in school and I use their interest in education to get my place back in their lives. Their young inquisitive minds never ran out of why what, who, where, and how to which I enjoyed so much.

They are so much hungry for information that they always beg me to read just about anything. Sooner than later, I feel that they have already let me into their lives.

They welcomed me with so much admiration for every answer I gave to their innocent questions and I am the happiest. Our study time is one of the quality times we spend as a family and as years passed, the bond just gets stronger day by day.

Now, they are already young teenagers and need very little help and supervision in school so I decided to work again in our city. There are still times that they call for my support and I am always there for them whenever they need me.

I could say, education helped us a lot to fortify our relationship.

I could never be so right when I made the decision of coming home and leave a high-paying job to be with my children and use education as a bridge to build a stronger relationship with them.

About the Author

I’m a mother of 3. A full-time hospital pharmacist and a licensed professional teacher. I love writing as a hobby and has been featured as a guest writer on a Singapore-based digital magazine. I also love crafting. – Arkisa Nooh