After being a parent to 2 kids aged 11 and 9 and after coaching and training more than 1000+ parents , I learned that there are 3 massive mistakes that make parenting stressful.
Here are 3 mistakes that most parents make and here are 3 solutions to avoid these mistakes forever.
Mistake Number 1: Correction Before Connection
I used to always correct mistakes for the things I think I did wrong and for the things they failed to do like cleaning up their mess.
This always results in frustration to me and my children because they are annoyed by my constant reminder and I am frustrated by their inaction.
I learned that carefrontation is one of the best ways to make your children listen to you. I learned this technique from my mentor Lisa Nichols.
How does carefrontation work?
- See the good in your children and and seek a solution to the problem together
- Say thank you for the good things your kids do. For example, I say thank you baby for picking up your mess, thank you for remembering to brush your teeth, thank you for saying thank you
- Acknowledge what they want and agree on the solution. I understand that you are busy but can we agree that you help mommy by cleaning your mess?
I guarantee you that this works well with no need to yell and shout because you and your kids are in agreement.
Give thanks and say thank you to your kids often. When you say thank you, they will do more good things. When you are grateful to your kids, they will do more things that will bring you gratitude and happiness. This is Lesson Number 7 of my parenting book on Amazon. Register now if you want a free copy of the book and discover 31 Ways to parent Toddlers and Teenagers in this Digital Age.
Mistake number 2: I Am Right, You Are Wrong
One of the mistakes I had is the assumption that I am always right and my kids are always wrong. My kids taught me the right is not right and wrong is not wrong because every person is right in their own perspective.
Respecting the perspective of your children is one of the best ways to stress free parenting. Remember to also say the words that can bring more peace and happiness in your relationship with your kids.
As one of my guests in my live webinar Najla Kfoury, a parenting expert said, your relationship with your kids is a partnership.
Say sorry if you made a mistake so that you can be a great example to your kids. Forgive them for the things they did wrong and for the things they failed to do. Remember to tell your kids that you love them no matter what so they will understand that they are loved without end and without limits.
MISTAKE NUMBER 3: Seeking Perfection and Not Prograss
One of the parenting mistakes I made is having a lot of expectations with my children. I forgot that my role as a parent is to help my kids become their best selve by allowing them to make mistakes.
Stop rushing your kids with their progress and growth because each person is unique and every person learns in their own phase and pace. When you rush your kids, they might miss some of life’s lessons. This is Lesson Number 3 of my parenting book on Amazon. Register now if you want a free copy of the book and discover 31 Ways to Parent Toddlers and Teenagers in this Digital Age.
I also forgot that I myself am a parent who is also learning how to become a better parent. There was no manual nor anything in life that prepared me for motherhood and the best way for me to become a better mother is to grow and learn with my children.
This is one of the core reasons why I started Working Moms Academy because this life does not come with a manual. The goal of Working Moms Academy is to share life tools that education lacks through training, coaching and a community of moms learning together so that moms can become better people, parents and partners.