Let’s face it, parenting styles vary from parent to parent, and there’s no single style of parenting that would work for all situations.
However, there are some parenting styles that can actually do more harm than good, and can even weaken your authority at home.
Yelling at your child
Yelling at your kids can be so tempting sometimes, especially when your child has a tantrum, is trying to be difficult, or just acting out.
It might seem that yelling at your child sounds like a good way to impose your authority, but in reality, you’re not doing yourself any favors by shouting at your child.
Shouting shows your child that you’re not acting as their parent, but as their peer, and shifts the focus from your child’s behavior, to your yelling. Yelling shows that you’re not capable of keeping calm, so yelling is a bad idea when it comes to disciplining your child.
Instead, what you can do would be to keep yourself calm, collected, and composed as much as you can. Granted, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do, since let’s face it, noisy children or children having tantrums can be very frustrating. But just keep at it, relax, and try to understand where your child is coming from, and keep your temper in check!
Over-negotiating with your child
Some parents are very nice to their kids, and that’s totally fine. Some parents even try to bend some of their house rules if their child asks them to, thinking that they’ll just do it that one time. And then it happens again, and again and again.
When your kids know that the rules can sometimes be changed, that’s when they start trying to undermine your authority. It might start small, with little things here and there, but eventually, your kids will figure out that they can negotiate with you or even ‘trick’ you into bending the rules for them.
If you want your child to follow the rules, then you’ll need to enforce the rules and be consistent about it. No ifs, no buts, not even if your child tries their hardest to convince you. It’s equally important to explain to your child why you have those rules, so that they can understand why there are rules. For some parents, it might be hard to say no to their kids, but it’s important for your kids to understand that in life, there are rules that they need to follow, and starting them young will make them less prone to acting out in the future.
Making your child’s life too easy
Of course, parents never want to see their kids struggling in life. Parents work their butts off to earn money so that their child can live comfortably, and not feel that they’re missing out.
The same goes for when their kids get in trouble. Some parents feel that it’s their responsibility to ‘bail’ their kids out whenever they do something wrong, or when it comes to school work that’s hard, the parents do their kid’s work for them.
While it’s okay to help your kid out every so often, ‘rescuing’ them all the time won’t make them grow. They’ll always feel that they have you to lean on whenever something goes wrong, and thus when the time comes that you can’t bail them out, they will be struggling to cope.
That’s why it’s important to teach your kids that in life, some things are really difficult, and sometimes you fail. Failure doesn’t mean that you’re weak, or you’re not smart, failure means that there’s something new that you can still learn. Teaching your kids to learn the value of their experiences is very important if you want them to grow up independent.
Kids sometimes need to struggle and figure things out by themselves so that they can learn. And as a parent, it’s your job to help them learn about the world, so sometimes you need to let go and let your kid figure things out on their own.
Source: empoweringparents.com
READ: Parenting ‘mistakes’ that most parents are guilty of!
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