Respect vs. obedience: why parents need respect more than obedience from kids

According to life-coach Kim Giles, parents should strive for earning their child’s respect instead of obedience for a better parent-child relationship.

Raising children that are both respectful and obedient is every parent’s dream. Respect and obedience are virtues that are admirable not only in children, but in people of any age.

So in an effort to inculcate both virtues in their children’s character, parents employ a strict child-rearing style.

In reality, however, authoritarian parenting only breeds fear and obedience—not respect.

And according to life-coach Kim Giles, parents should strive for earning their child’s respect instead of obedience for a better parent-child relationship.

In her article on KSL.com, Kim answered one mother’s question about her parenting method.

According to the self-confessed, control-obsessed mom, her parenting may have damaged her relationship with her children because she had high expectations from them and wanted their obedience.

To this, Kim said that parents should now exactly how they want their children to turn out.

Do they want to raise controlled and obedient children, or do they want to raise smart, responsible, independent and respectful kids?

She also made it a point to differentiate fear from respect.

Parents shouldn’t want blind obedience; they should want respectful kids, kids who are possessed with fearless strength, wisdom, love and compassion.

Kim said that in order to create a well-balanced and healthy relationship with their children, parents should be "respectable," "respectful" and mindful to the "attachments" that have a connection to the kids and not based on the parent's inclinations.

Meanwhile, Empowering Parents said that children are not naturally born with a sense of respect for others. Hence, it’s the parent’s job to cultivate it.

To do that, parents need to learn to respect themselves and their children's feelings, opinions, privacy, personality, body and personal space.

Parents should also eschew a harsh approach to discipline, and should instead employ positive discipline methods: mutual respect is based on a positive relationship between two parties.

On the other hand, fostering fear in your children through strict parenting could lead to certain behavioral problems in the future including rebellion, bullying and depression, as per Destiny Connect.

After all, what parent does want to raise their children in a positive and loving environment?

READ: Over-parenting damages children’s personal growth, study says

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