Stay at home moms have it harder than you think
Who says it’s an easy life for a homemaker? Society can be so judgmental of stay-at-home mothers (SAHM), pigeonholing housewives to have an easy and stress-free life. We’d like to invite these people to take a peek into the not-so-simple lives of a few SAHMs.
Some of us have friends that think every stay at home moms (SAHM) has a perfect life where they can stay at home and "shake legs"—they should think again! A stay at home mom nurtures her children, completes household chores and fulfills hubby’s needs.
That being said a SAHM has a non-stop, no vacation, 24-hour job that may not even get the gratitude and appreciation it deserves.
Stay at home moms often have to rough it out!
First off, it is not an easy decision to leave your career to stay at home. But there are usually quite a few factors that drive ladies to this decision. For most it can be the raising costs of childcare/ infant care, lack of accountability of maids and others. Let’s look into the lives of a few stay at home moms.
No suitable nanny in sight
Karen May, 31, a mother of a 7-year-old son has this to share:
“I used to work fulltime a bank in the Philippines but opted to stay at home because (I) couldn't find a suitable nanny for my son.
"Really had a hard time at first juggling motherly duties with house keeping as I wasn't really keen on cleaning the house, doing the laundry, cooking and such while keeping an eye on my son. I think I cried one time too. But I can honestly say that I am good at it now. I can manage my time well and not neglect my son and husband.”
Lai Peng, 72, mother of three and grandmother of yet another three gives us an insight on how tough it is when you’re struggling to put food on the table, yet you’re forced to make a choice:
“It is a choice out of pure love—knowing life will be so hard financially when I quit my job. My neighbors told me my 2-year-old son would cry at the gate all day waiting for my return.
The maid neglected him and he would run around without pants on and at one point ate his own poop. That was the last straw.
I quit my job, fired the maid and cared for my own children. I can’t bear to go to work thinking my son is crying and waiting for me to come home every day. It was the hardest time of my life but I have no regrets for making this sacrifice because my son made it in life.”
Angela Lee, 36, mother of one, has friends who feel she has got it made, but she has this to say:
“Many people think I am lady of leisure since I am a SAHM. Yeah right! Everyday my hair is dishevelled, clothes tinged of sour milk, perspiration and sometimes even unidentifiable smells. It's difficult getting endless house chores done with a clingy toddler. Sometimes, simple things like answering nature’s call or getting a quick shower is not easy at all.”
More than a handful
Things get really complicated when there is more than one child. Hani Campbell, mother of four kids aged between three to nine shares a slice of her life.
“When my 1st child was 8 months old, I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter. During my pregnancy, I’ve to juggle between being mother and housewife.
Fortunately, my husband loves to cook so he’ll do the cooking. When my 2nd child was born, my 1st daughter was in Day care at the age of 18 months. While my 2nd baby sleeps, I’ll send my 1st daughter to Day care & rush home as I know my baby’s sleeping patterns.”
She added: "I was so stressed out, especially after my 3rd baby. There were times I tried to commit suicide or jump from the building. But I have good neighbors and friends who helped me, taking my 2 daughters out for an excursion or sleepovers, etc...so that I have some time for myself.”
Is it a “good life”?
In a way it is because stay at home moms get to cherish every growing-up moment with the children—not a moment is missed and your developing child gets all the attention they need emotionally, physically, mentally and perhaps even spiritually.
Speaking from experience, if my mother had not quit her job and spent most of her time nurturing me—I will be a fraction of the person I am today.
What are your thoughts on stay at home mums? Share them down below!
Republished with permission from: theAsianParent Singapore