You, him, and the fetus: Facts and myths about pregnancy sex

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Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy? Is it going to cause premature labour? A dad-to-be asks us questions about sex during pregnancy

After about 2 years of trying, Angela was finally pregnant. Michael was relieved too as it was getting too clinical. And each negative pregnancy test was affecting Angela incrementally. There was always an option of adopting, but they wanted to try this out first. And finally, they were where they wanted to be. However, in a few weeks in pregnancy, Angela felt urges to have sex, and that scared Michael. How safe was it to have sex during pregnancy?

Michael had many questions on his mind. He had heard a lot of conflicting opinions. It was not that he did not want to have sex. Angela had started to look radiant. But now, there was another person in the room, so to say. And, most importantly, he did not want to affect the pregnancy in any way. So here are the 5 questions he asked me about sex during pregnancy.

1. Is my penis going to hurt the baby?

Answer: No. It is not going anywhere near the baby. There are many layers between you and the growing fetus, so don't worry about it. The baby is safe inside an amniotic sac, swimming in her own personal pool of amniotic fluid. This sac is safe inside the uterus that is strong enough to protect the baby. And then, the cervix of the uterus separates you and the baby.

However, it may cause some discomfort for your partner. In that case, just change the position and try it out.

2. When is it unsafe to have sex during pregnancy?

Answer: If there is heavy bleeding during the pregnancy, avoid sex. If the placenta is low-lying, it may cause bleeding, so avoid having sex during pregnancy. If your partner has undergone a procedure to hold the baby in, something called a cervical cerclage, you might want to hold your horses.

And, it is not really safe to have sex when her waters break, or when she is actively into labor. I know it sounds bizarre, but when it comes to sex, some people need to be told when and when not to...

3. I don't want sex to cause premature labour

Answer: Sex does not cause premature labor. It can set a rhythm and the baby ends up liking the gentle rocking. For the baby, it feels as if the mom is going for a walk up a hill. Sure, it may cause contractions in the uterus, but they are just Braxton Hicks. All you are doing is priming the uterus for the ultimate act.

Your partner is going to go into labor only when it is time. That said, don't have sex when the water has broken, or she is already into labor.

4. Her orgasms are going to cause damage to the baby

Answer: Not at all. Just like the previous question, they may end up inducing Braxton Hicks, but that is about it. So have sex without anxiety.

5. We saw some blood on the sheets after sex. What to do?

Answer: Spotting is normal during the early few weeks of pregnancy. The cervix has an enriched blood supply so it may bleed. There may be some occult blood that is expelled from the uterus. That said, there are conditions when this is not safe.

If she is having a low-lying placenta, you should abstain from having sex during pregnancy. If you are concerned about the spotting, and you should be, just bring it up during the next doctor's visit. And till then, refrain from having sex during pregnancy

6. Is it safe to have sex in the third trimester?

Answer: If both of you are in a mood for sex, then go ahead. During the late pregnancy, it will be difficult to have sex in a conventional manner. So, find the most suitable position to do it. And this is also the time when you can experiment other ways of loving each other if you are in the mood but it is physically difficult to engage in the act.

That said, keep it safe.

7. The baby responds to my voice normally. Is he going to remember this?

Answer: Luckily, no. There is no evidence that babies can recollect what they heard while still inside the uterus. They might react favorably to some music they heard or some foods that their mom ate, but again, the research does not suggest that they will remember you having sex!

To summarize, just watch this video.

Moms and dads, feel free to enjoy sex as long as it is enjoyable.

This article was originally published on theAsianparent Singapore.

READ: 5 Reasons why pregnancy sex is just so super sexy