Sexual Collapse: When You Are Too Tired or Busy for Sex

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Living a fast paced life has become something of a norm these days. We juggle a stressful job with deadlines, paying endless bills, perform housework chores, and taking care of the kids. We have responsibilities, responsibilities and more responsibilities. It’s no wonder that at the end of the day you’re worn out. You think you’re

Living a fast paced life has become something of a norm these days. We juggle a stressful job with deadlines, paying endless bills, perform housework chores, and taking care of the kids. We have responsibilities, responsibilities and more responsibilities.

It’s no wonder that at the end of the day you’re worn out. You think you’re relaxing in front of the television watching your favorite drama serial when you are already in a state of collapse. But aren’t you forgetting your sex life?

What can you do if you are too tired or busy for sex? Here are some tips:

  1. Share the chores – Women tend to handle all the housework: washing dishes, cleaning, taking care of the kids, etc. These gender roles are outdated and does not help your marriage. Discuss what chores can be shared. Divide and conquer so you’d have more time for pleasing each other.
  2. Do less – Is there any way to simplify and do less? For instance instead of cooking up five dishes every night, perhaps you could do with two or three. Think about what is not essential to your well-being and lifestyle and minimize. Make a list of what you need and discuss on what you can cut out.
  3. Say no to distractions – A T.V. or computer in your bedroom may seem convenient, but they will only distract you from connecting with each other. You get better sleep if you banish them from the bedroom as well. If you can limit or eliminate laptop and hand phone usage after work, even better!
  4. Get enough sleep – Sleep deprivation can lead to a decrease in sexual desire. A study by Duke University Medical Center reported that this affects women more than men. Prioritise sleep instead of downing more coffee. Coffee actually messes up your hormones. According to the book The Fertility Code, three cups of coffee is the same as smoking 25 cigarettes a day. Even taking a nap during lunchtime can help with one’s energy level.
  5. Spice things up – Get rid of sexual rut by experimenting with something new be it lubricants or sex toys. Explore roleplaying and talk about your sexual fantasies. You may wish to sign up for a sexuality education workshop which I run. May you look forward to getting off work because of the fun and games afterwards!
  6. Take it slow – Sometimes there is too much pressure from having or the lack of sex. You can try touching each other more. You could cuddle with your significant other and talk about what’s bothering you. If after six months, things are not better, you may wish to seek out professional help. It can be less about time and may be due to other things going on in the relationship.

Being too busy or tired for sex is a common problem that many modern couples face. It doesn’t have to continue to be that way. Getting your sex life back on track will require careful management of your time and energy. Rekindle your sex life because the well-being of our loved ones is often who we think of when we work, so don’t lose sight of what’s important to you.

Republished with permission from: theAsianParent Singapore

READ: “My husband provides me everything except sex. Should I be in this marriage?”

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